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Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

“Love whatever gets in the way, until it ceases to be an obstacle.” —Mark Nepo

evolutionyou.net

 

 

There lives an elephant kept from his freedom by a thin rope tied to one leg. A passing man, who realized that this evolutionyou.net | self-limiting beliefsflimsy tether could not restrain the enormous beast, asked the elephant’s keeper why this majestic creature makes no attempt to break free.

“The elephant was conditioned, from an early age, to believe that he cannot break away. This thin rope was enough to keep him from breaking away when he was young. Although the rope can no longer restrain him, he adopted the belief that he was powerless to escape long ago,” replied the keeper.

evolutionyou.net

 

 

A friend of mine keeps his goldfish in a goldfish bowl. One day he filled the bathtub with water and put the goldfish in it evolutionyou.net | self-limiting beliefswhile he cleaned their bowl. As he poured the fish into the large tub, he expected them to wildly swim around—finally “free”. But they did not. The goldfish stayed huddled together in the corner, only occupying a space as large as their small goldfish bowl.

The goldfish had long ago adopted the belief that they were only capable of swimming within that boundary.

evolutionyou.net

 

 

Today I invite you to look around you and ask, “What chains are holding me back from living my best life?”

  • Are you truly unable to live your best life?
  • Or, are you allowing false self-limiting beliefs to hold you back?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. You, too, are capable of extraordinary greatness. There is a deep reserve of strength, wisdom, light, and love within you. Only you can decide to tap into that greatness. You must identify your self-limiting beliefs and then overcome them. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Take that trip. Start that business. Share that love. Whatever it is that you’ve been thinking that you can’t do, go ahead and do it. Because you can.

In love & light,
Dena

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  • · · · ·

    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 2: The Climb

    Emergency Fund

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I explained how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    1. Change the way you think about spending money. For most of my life, I believed that money was made to be spent. I believed that I *deserved* to spend every dollar that I earned on some material thing that would “make me happy.” I coveted material possessions—clothes, jewelry, electronics, cars. What I realize now is that money is not meant to be spent. You only need to earn enough money to survive. You should have enough money to buy only what you need. There is no need for excess.

    “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” (Fight Club)

    This shift in mindset is hard to adjust to at first. You may not like the reactions that you receive from people. Believe me, I’ve been called cheap a few times, but I pay no mind to it. I would choose cheap over poor any day.

    2. Keep a budget. I highly recommend using Mint.com. I started using it in September and it has been one of the most transformational and useful tools throughout my journey to financial freedom. It allows you to sync up all of your accounts (loans, checking, savings, etc.) in one place. Then it keeps track of every transaction that you make and sorts/organizes all of the data for you. It allows you to track your spending over time and by category. It gives you incredible perspective and insight about where your money goes each month/year. It has been a truly eye-opening experience for me.

    If you’re unwilling to try Mint, you can keep a budget on a spread sheet or even by hand. However, the important thing is to be completely conscious about where every dollar you spend is going.

    3. Use a debit card. To reap the full Mint.com experience you should use a debit card for every purchase you make. Using the debit card will automatically flag each transaction you make into the appropriate category. So if you go to Shoprite, it will get marked as groceries. If you go to Home Depot it will get marked as home. If you stop at the gas station it will get marked as automobile, and so on.

    I use my debit card (linked to my checking account) for almost every single transaction that I make. I also have all of my monthly bills (like my auto insurance, utilities, and gym membership) automatically debited from the same checking account each month. It makes keeping track of my spending that much easier. Plus, I do not like dealing with cash. The debit card is quick, easy, and is accepted almost everywhere now.

    Whether or not you use Mint.com it is a good idea to use a debit card simply because you can review all of your purchases and purchase amounts on your monthly statement. Trying to keep track of receipts is a hassle that I don’t have time for.

    4. Pay off credit cards and cut them up. Paying off my credit cards was my first priority. For awhile I tried “credit card surfing.” Let me just tell you from experience, it’s overrated and it really doesn’t work. The idea is that you surf from credit card to credit card by transferring balances. A lot of companies will give you 0% APR for 6 months if you transfer your balances over to them. After the 6 months, you “surf” to a new card with another promotional rate.

    The problem with this tactic is that it gets messy quickly, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and if you lose track you will end up getting burned by high APRs, finance fees, cancellation fees, etc. Also, it probably doesn’t look great on your credit report if you’re opening up a new card every 6 months or so.

    It is much safer and wiser to just stop using credit cards! My theory is simple and has taken me very far: If you can not afford to buy it, then you can not afford it. Period. It is simple logic.

    5. Eat in. This is one of the easiest changes to make, but it also comes with an enormous, positive impact. When I started closely tracking my spending habits, I was shocked to see how much I was spending on eating out. A meal at a decent restaurant goes for about $25 per person. If you eat out twice a week, that is $3,120 a year. If you grab lunch out during the work week, it’s about $8 a day. That’s $2,080 a year. Put those together and you could be spending $5,200 a year or more on dining out! That is outrageous and completely unnecessary.

    Since I started eating in and packing lunches, I’ve taken my monthly food spending from $500 down to $200 or less! Over time, that means enormous savings. Check out 5dollardinners.com for some awesome, inexpensive recipes. I love it! Also, investing in a crock pot was one of the wisest decisions I ever made—chili, sausage & peppers, and goulash will be your new (delicious, cheap) best friends. (Here are some more tips for eating healthy & mindfully.)

    6. Direct deposit money into savings every month. This is my final—and perhaps most important—tip. When I began my journey to financial freedom, I opened a savings account with ING Direct. It is an easy-to-use online savings account and it gives you interest on the money that you save. It also allows you to set up easy direct deposits.

    I started out small, depositing $50 a month into my savings. As I learned to keep my budget tighter and tighter, I increased the amount that I put into my savings each month. Currently, I am putting away $500+ per month and hope to get closer to $1,000 per month in the very near future.

    When you direct deposit the funds, it comes out automatically. It is painless because you don’t have to do a thing. Because it’s automatic, after awhile you don’t even notice that it’s missing. (I remember reading that on another blog several months ago and thinking, “Are you out of your mind?! I’m not going to miss it? Yea right!”) But I can honestly say that after a few months, you adjust to the missing money. You truly do not miss it once it becomes normal for that amount to be deposited into savings automatically each month.

    It has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made and because I’ve worked so hard to get to this place—I don’t touch that money! I am keeping it there for a rainy day or to pay off my student loans someday in one fell swoop.

    ————————————————————————

    As I stated at the start of this post, three years ago I was almost $60,000 in debt; I was twenty-three years old; and I was scared to death. Today, I have my finances under control! I am on the road to financial freedom and you can get here, too. Truly, it is not as hard as it seems. With common sense and a bit of dedication, it will happen. Paying off my last credit card balance was like taking chains off of my wrists for the first time in seven years. The feeling was completely priceless. If I can do it, anybody can.

    So, what are your financial goals? Have you ever been in financial prison? How did you free yourself? If you’re still there, what are you going to do to break free?

  • Carousel — 03.05.10

    Oh, why hello my gorgeous readers! It is so wonderful to see you here on this beautiful Friday afternoon (or whatever day/time it is where you are). This week came in like a lion and is heading out like a lamb… typical March weather in the North Eastern US. Last week received over three feet of fluffy white stuff (snow!). Currently the temperature is on the rise and it’s beginning to melt. Is this a sign that Spring is on its way? I sure hope so!

    And now on to this week’s charming Carousel. I do hope you enjoy…

    1. Quick easy tips for travel health and Living in the now: Two awesome posts from Vagablogging this week. One contains common sense tips to keep you healthy while on the road and the other talks about the importance of fleeting moments in time. Lovely.

    2. This is So Inappropriate!: “Your choices always carry tremendous weight, even when you feel like you have no choice in the matter. We don’t need enormous reserves of skill or advantage to make big differences to what happens to us — and to the manner in which we ‘happen’ to the world.”

    3. The Sure Fire Way to Sabotage Any Relationship: In this post, Jared explains why trying to “get back to the way things were” is like signing your relationship’s death certificate. Do you agree?

    4. 5 Travel Lessons You Can Use at Home: This post is far & away, one of the best that I’ve read on the topic. Can you take travel lessons and apply them to your life? Can you use these lessons to live the life of your dreams 100% of the time? Yes, you can! This post will tell you how.

    5. Avatar’s Impact: How To Train Like A Na’vi: Have you seen Avatar yet? I saw it once in 2D and then again in 3D—yes, it was that good! I love Amber’s take on the movie in this excellent post. “While the special effects and imagination behind the film are awe inspiring enough, what excited me the most was the vital ecological message that’s reaching millions. The fact that people from around the globe are beginning to see the significance of our connection to all organisms is incredible.” Yes, yes, yes! Exactly. She’s hit the nail on the head.

    6. What Are Values?: Many people pay Tim Brownson good money to help them define values; but in this post, he’ll show you how to do it for free! I absolutely love (& agree with) the way that he introduces the post: “So what I’m really saying is this is some heavy personal development shit that needs your total concentration and commitment if you’re going to get the most out of it. And make no mistake, it’s the single most powerful thing you can do if you genuinely want to understand yourself.”

    7. how to: focus in batches: “Limited resources force you to focus on your creativity.”

    8. Coping with Major Life Changes: Excellent tips to help get you through some of life’s most challenging moments.

    9. The War Over Wolves: One topic that I haven’t written too much about yet is wildlife & environmental conservation. It is one of the things that I am most passionate about. This post from the National Geographic Blog broke my heart a bit. Despite my inclination to preserve as many creatures as humanly possible, there are always two sides to every story. I’ll be making some posts on this topic in the near future.

    10. Olympians’ daily food choices as important as their rigorous training: Want to learn to eat like an Olympian? Is the food that you put in your body really that important? After reading this, I say YES!

    —————————

    That is it for this week’s round up. I loved all of these great posts and I hope that you will, too. Perhaps just the burst of inspiration you were needing to get your weekend off to a great start?

    Have a lovely weekend. Spread love & light!

5 Comments

  1. makes me think of,

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory…that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson)

    thanks for this post, dena! <3

    1. Andra – Thank you so much, love. I am glad that you enjoyed the post. It is good advice — for my readers & for me! 😉 xoxo

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