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Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

“Love whatever gets in the way, until it ceases to be an obstacle.” —Mark Nepo

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There lives an elephant kept from his freedom by a thin rope tied to one leg. A passing man, who realized that this evolutionyou.net | self-limiting beliefsflimsy tether could not restrain the enormous beast, asked the elephant’s keeper why this majestic creature makes no attempt to break free.

“The elephant was conditioned, from an early age, to believe that he cannot break away. This thin rope was enough to keep him from breaking away when he was young. Although the rope can no longer restrain him, he adopted the belief that he was powerless to escape long ago,” replied the keeper.

evolutionyou.net

 

 

A friend of mine keeps his goldfish in a goldfish bowl. One day he filled the bathtub with water and put the goldfish in it evolutionyou.net | self-limiting beliefswhile he cleaned their bowl. As he poured the fish into the large tub, he expected them to wildly swim around—finally “free”. But they did not. The goldfish stayed huddled together in the corner, only occupying a space as large as their small goldfish bowl.

The goldfish had long ago adopted the belief that they were only capable of swimming within that boundary.

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Today I invite you to look around you and ask, “What chains are holding me back from living my best life?”

  • Are you truly unable to live your best life?
  • Or, are you allowing false self-limiting beliefs to hold you back?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. You, too, are capable of extraordinary greatness. There is a deep reserve of strength, wisdom, light, and love within you. Only you can decide to tap into that greatness. You must identify your self-limiting beliefs and then overcome them. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Take that trip. Start that business. Share that love. Whatever it is that you’ve been thinking that you can’t do, go ahead and do it. Because you can.

In love & light,
Dena

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  • Carousel — 04.02.10

    Every Friday, I post my favourite links, posts, & resources from around the Web. Expect to learn, grow, & be inspired.

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    “Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” —Lao Tzu

    1. The Rebel’s Manifesto: “1. Do the opposite of what you were taught in school.” This is just chock-full of superb advice.

    2. My Running Mantra: What lovely inspiration!

    3. 18 Tips on how to pack for a trip, how to travel light, how to have fun in airports (where “trip” also equals “life”): This post delivers precisely what the title promises & then some…

    4. Post Secret: If you are one of the ten people left on Earth that isn’t following Post Secret, then I suggest you start now. 😉 PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard. It is completely ad-free & gets updated every Sunday. It’s incredible.

    5. A critical message about food. Yes, it is a bit lengthy, but worth every moment of your time.

    Additionally, last week I watched Food, Inc. and to say that my perception about food is drastically altered would be a catastrophic understatement. Every single person living in the USA (perhaps others, too) must watch this film.

    6. A happy mayor: “Not only is Mayor Hazel McCallionhappy of the City of Mississauga in Canada happy at work, she is also 88 years old, has been elected 11 times, has a 91% approval rating AND has kept her city debt-free.” Dear Heaven: Give me a fraction of this woman’s health, enthusiasm, and spirit! I’ll be set forever.

    7. The Crushing Problem of Student Debt: Excellent post about the growing problem of student loan debt faced by so many Americans. This is an excellent follow-up to my two part series about my own financial journey.

    8. Overcoming Fear: I write about overcoming fear quite a bit here; but every now & then it is nice to hear someone else’s perspective on the subject. I really enjoyed this post about overcoming fear, particularly Jared’s personal story about where he allowed fear to take him in his own life.

    9. 25 Beautifully Illustrated Thought-Provoking Questions: “Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?” Get prepared to think.

    10. Renegade Health Care Reform: Don’t worry, I haven’t gone all political on you! Just click it. I’m sure you’ll agree, no matter which side of the fence you’re standing on.

    11. The Ultimate Minimalist: 5 Powerful Lessons You Can Learn From Gandhi: Really simple, really powerful. This is the most inspired I’ve been by a “minimalism” post in awhile (and I read a lot of them, friends!).

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    To all of my friends that celebrate Easter, may your Easter be filled with love & light. To all of my friends who do not, may your weekend be full of passion & grace. xo

  • · · · ·

    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

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    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

5 Comments

  1. makes me think of,

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?…Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory…that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson)

    thanks for this post, dena! <3

    1. Andra – Thank you so much, love. I am glad that you enjoyed the post. It is good advice — for my readers & for me! 😉 xoxo

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