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Shine // some thoughts on balance

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

The past few months have thrown me completely off balance. With spring, everything comes alive and it is beautiful. We break free from the oppressive chains of a northeast winter. Life gets busy. It’s a natural — and wonderful — cycle. But this year, it’s been different. It’s been too much. In my efforts to make the most of the warmth I had been waiting on for so long, I hopped aboard a crazy train. I’ve been juggling like an insane circus clown. Family, friendship, photography, business, social media, blogging, gardening, cooking, cleaning, the list goes on.

My to-do list is freakish. My spirit is suffering. Even when I do something “for myself” (rarely) it’s a mad dash. There is no retreat, there is no quiet. Even the thing that I’ve always loved — my walks with Roman in the stroller — have fallen to the wayside.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

I’m certain that most women (and maybe men?) can relate to what I am feeling right now, or at the very least, have felt this way at some point in their lives. Pulled in ten thousand directions. Exhausted. Unsatisfied. I am doing so many things, that instead of greatness, I end up with a lot of junk.

My calendar for June is bursting at the seams. But, there is very good news up ahead. July is a blank slate. The only thing written on my calendar for July is a 5-night seaside getaway. Perfect. And, it’s going to stay that way.

That’s right. I am not accepting a single engagement in the month of July, save for photography sessions. I will not make plans and I will not accept any additions to my workload. I am going to dust off my New Year resolution, and make it my top priority to honor my promise to take care of me in the second half of this year.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

In life, we are always holding something. We might be holding a whole lot of useless junk — and juggling it like a loon. Or, we might be holding something beautiful, something that shines. The trick to holding something that shines is that you can’t be afraid to put the other stuff down. You have to be willing to drop some things so that the one great thing can become everything that it is capable of becoming.

That’s where I am headed now. I’ve mentioned it casually, but this is me saying it officially — the frequency with which I post here is about to change. I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to be in five years — personally and professionally. I haven’t hashed it all out yet, but I have decided that I want to make photography my career. That means that some things will need to take a backseat so that my career in photography can truly shine. I will continue blogging. I have a bunch of sponsored posts and featured posts lined up for later this month, but come July I imagine that there will be a shift.

I am not saying that I am going to drop everything and focus solely on photography. That is silly — I am a stay-at-home mother to a one-year-old and honestly, 90% of my day is devoted to wrangling him. What I am saying is that I need to restore balance in my life. I need to manage my household, my relationships, my passions (which will always include this blog), and my business. And I need to do all of this with a bit more grace than I have been doing recently. I have been so overwhelmed that many times I’ve done nothing simply because I didn’t know where to start.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

From here on out, I am going to be kinder to myself. I am going to keep far less on my to-do list. And I am going to keep my calendar as empty as possible. I want to make room for adventure and spontaneity — two things which don’t work well with a packed calendar or a long to-do list.

Many thanks to my friend, Erin Galardi, for the beautiful photographs in this post.


“Shine” is the June writing prompt of The Mommy Blogger Collective. In addition to a monthly writing prompt, the collective hosts a monthly blogger featurette. This month we are featuring Christina of Mouse in Your House. A few words from Christina — At Mouse In Your House, I’m bringing you stories about being a working mom, quirky family lifestyle trends, frugal living, DIY ideas and the talented people who make life something amazing. I hate getting bored and occasionally use Mouse In Your House to ask people very personal questions that I would, otherwise, never get away with. My goal is to find chicks and gents doing something cool and inspiring, which could lead to a feature about a family who took the year off to travel the world one day and the next day’s post could be all about how to dress a stylish toddler. To qualify for a feature, I need only go, holy moly that is frigging awesome….and you may even get a long set of questions for our next Q&A. That’s the way I roll. And P.S. I LOVE budgeting and it has taken over our lives in the past. We recently graduated from living in a 400 square-foot apartment to a 1,400 square foot house in my beloved small town of Knoxville, Tennessee. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+.

/// The Mommy Blogger Collective /// Christina, Courteney, Dena, Erica, Erin, Gillian, Katie, Misty, Nicole, and Renée. ///


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  • · ·

    3 Simple Changes That Will Save Your Life

    This post could save your life. These 3 simple lifestyle changes saved mine. Today I am going to simply share facts with you. These facts (if you let them) will dramatically improve your quality of life. Making these changes can even increase your life span.

    1. Stop Smoking

    FACTS: According to the American Heart Association, cigarette smoking is the most important preventable cause of premature death in the United States, accounting for 440,000 of the more than 2.4 million annual deaths.

    Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer. In fact, smoking tobacco is the major risk factor for lung cancer. In the United States, about 90% of lung cancer deaths in men and almost 80% of lung cancer deaths in women are due to smoking. People who smoke are 10 to 20 times more likely to get lung cancer or die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke. The longer a person smokes and the more cigarettes smoked each day, the more risk goes up.

    Smoking also causes cancer of the voice box (larynx), mouth and throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, cervix, and stomach, and causes acute myeloid leukemia. Source.

    FACTS: One year after passing smoking bans, communities in North America and Europe had 17 percent fewer heart attacks compared to communities without smoking restrictions, and the number of heart attacks kept decreasing with time, according to a report in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association. Source.

    FACTS: If you quit smoking, you will:

    1. Prolong your life. According to the American Heart Association, smokers who quit between ages 35-39 add an average of 6-9 years to their lives. Smokers who quit between ages 65-69 increase their life expectancy by 1 – 4 years.

    2. Reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease. Quitting smoking reduces the risk of repeat heart attacks and death from heart disease by 50 percent or more. Quitting smoking also reduces your risk of high blood pressure, peripheral artery disease and stroke.

    3. Reduce your risk of developing a variety of other conditions including diabetes, lung cancer, throat cancer, emphysema, chronic bronchitis, chronic asthma, ulcers, gum disease and many other conditions.

    4. Feel healthier. After quitting, you won’t cough as much, have as many sore throats and you will increase your energy.

    5. Look and feel better. Quitting can help you prevent face wrinkles, get rid of stained teeth, improve your skin and even get rid of the stale smell in your clothes and hair.

    6. Improve your sense of taste and smell.

    7. Save money. Source.

    FACTS: What Happens When You Quit:

    After 20 minutes
    o You stop polluting the air
    o Your blood pressure and pulse decrease
    o The temperature of your hands and feet increases

    After 8 hours
    o The carbon monoxide level in your blood returns to normal
    o Oxygen levels in your blood increase

    After 24 hours
    o Your risk of heart attack decreases

    After 48 hours
    o Nerve endings adjust to the absence of nicotine
    o Your ability to taste and smell begin to return

    After 2 weeks to 3 months
    o Your circulation improves
    o Your exercise tolerance improves

    After 1 – 9 months
    o Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease
    o Your overall energy level increases

    After 1 year
    o Your risk of heart disease decreases to half that of a current smoker

    After 5 – 15 years
    o Your risk of stroke is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    After 10 years
    o Your risk of dying from lung cancer drops to almost the same rate as a lifelong non- smoker
    o You decrease the incidence of other cancers — of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas

    After 15 years
    o Your risk of heart disease is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    If you smoke again (called a relapse) do not lose hope. Seventy-five percent of those who quit relapse. Most smokers quit three times before they are successful. If you relapse, don’t give up! Review the reasons why you wanted to become a nonsmoker. Plan ahead and think about what you will do next time you get the urge to smoke. Source.

    2. Maintain a Healthy Body Weight

    QUESTION: How many people get cancer by being overweight or obese? How many die?

    FACTS: In 2002, about 41,000 new cases of cancer in the United States were estimated to be due to obesity. This means that about 3.2 percent of all new cancers are linked to obesity.

    A recent report estimated that, in the United States, 14 percent of deaths from cancer in men and 20 percent of deaths in women were due to overweight and obesity.

    Colon cancer occurs more frequently in people who are obese than in those of a healthy weight. An increased risk of colon cancer has been consistently reported for men with high BMIs.
    Source.

    FACTS: Research has shown that as weight increases to reach the levels referred to as “overweight” and “obesity,” the risks for the following conditions also increases:

    * Coronary heart disease
    * Type 2 diabetes
    * Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
    * Hypertension (high blood pressure)
    * Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
    * Stroke
    * Liver and Gallbladder disease
    * Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
    * Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
    * Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility) Source.

    3. Eat Whole Foods, Not Processed

    FACTS: The statistics are alarming:

    – One in three people will get cancer at some time in their life

    – Heart disease is the leading cause of death

    – Poor nutrition and physical inactivity together are the second
    actual cause of preventable death in the United States

    On the other hand new evidence shows that:

    – Eating five or more fruits and vegetables per day cuts cancer
    risk in half

    – People who eat more fruits and vegetables have a 30% lower risk
    of premature heart attack than people who eat a few

    – About 25% fewer strokes are projected for adults who eat 8 or
    more servings of fruits and vegetables per day

    – Fruits and vegetables may help keep blood sugar down and control diabetes.” Source.

    FACTS: Processed meat consumption results in 67% increase in pancreatic cancer risk.
    Source.

    FACTS: Inorganic phosphates are found in a variety of processed foods, including meats, cheeses, beverages and bakery products. They are added to increase water retention and improve food texture. Studies suggests a diet high in inorganic phosphates could speed growth of cancerous tumors and contribute to the development of tumors in those predisposed to the disease. Source.

    FACTS: Carcinogens in foods that may be naturally-occurring, caused by preparing or cooking certain foods, or added to it, include safrole, estragole and benzene. Processed foods such as sausages, bacon and canned meats contain high amounts of the preservative nitrite, another known carcinogen. Other carcinogens to look for in food products include:

    * acetaldehyde
    * acetamide
    * azo color and compounds
    * benzidine
    * bis (2-Chloromethyl) ether
    * cadmium
    * chlorinated parraffin waxes
    * 3,3-dichlorobenzidine
    * dichloromethane
    * hexachlorobenzene
    * polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons
    * polychlorinated dibenzodioxins
    * polychlorinated dibenzofurans
    * sillica
    * trichloroethylene

    Though it is impossible to avoid every known carcinogen, to decrease risk of cancers and other illnesses, a balanced diet with more unprocessed, whole foods can decrease risk of some cancers and other diseases such as type two diabetes and heart disease. Source.

    FACTS: Nutrients in Whole Foods that Protect Against Cancer:

    1. Vitamin A: Strengthens the immune system. Essential for mineral metabolism and endocrine function. Helps detoxify. True vitamin A is found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil; fish and shellfish; and liver, butter and egg yolks from pasture-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin A than the typical modern American diet.

    2. Vitamin C: An important antioxidant that prevents damage by free radicals. Found in many fruits and vegetables but also in certain organ meats valued by primitive peoples.

    3. Vitamin B6: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Contributes to the function of over 100 enzymes. Most available from animal foods.

    4. Vitamin B12: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Found only in animal foods.

    5. Vitamin B17: Protects against cancer. Found in a variety of organically grown grains, legumes, nuts and berries.

    6. Vitamin D: Required for mineral absorption. Strongly protective against breast and colon cancer. Found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil, lard, shellfish and butterfat, organ meats and egg yolks from grass-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin D than the typical modern American diet.

    7. Vitamin E: Works as an antioxidant at the cellular level. Found in unprocessed oils as well as in animal fats like butter and egg yolks.

    8. Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA): Strongly protective against breast cancer. Found in the butterfat and meat fat of grass-fed ruminant animals.

    9. Cholesterol: A potent antioxidant that protects against free radicals in cell membranes. Found only in animal foods.

    10. Minerals: The body needs generous amounts of a wide variety of minerals to protect itself against cancer. Minerals like zinc, magnesium and selenium are vital components of enzymes that help the body fight carcinogens. Minerals are more easily absorbed from animal foods.

    11. Lactic Acid and Friendly Bacteria: Contribute to the health of the digestive tract. Found in old fashioned lacto-fermented foods.

    12. Saturated Fats: Strengthen the immune system. Needed for proper use of the essential fatty acids. The lungs cannot function without saturated fats. Found mostly in animal foods.

    13. Long-Chain Fatty Acids: Arachidonic acid (AA), eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) help fight cancer on the cellular level. They are found mostly in animal foods such as butter, organ meats, cod liver oil and seafood.

    14. Co-enzyme Q10: Highly protective against cancer. Found only in animal foods. Source.

    In closing: I truly hope that you will begin living these simple lifestyle changes. If you are non-smoker, not obese, and already eating whole foods, then I challenge you to help to spread this message to as many people as you can. All of the suffering and the disease mentioned above is not necessary. It can be prevented.

16 Comments

  1. Ahh yes, my kindred spirit, Dena, I see we are in similar places in life… AGAIN! I can feel exactly the disdain you’re feeling, and “appreciate” it for all that it does to help change and mold a person. Hang in there, take some deep breaths, it seems like you’ve got the right idea (no engagements). You’re going to feel great after this break 🙂 xo Crista

    1. Thanks, Crista. We’re only two days into the month and I’m already struggling with it — but I am determined!! <3

  2. Dena those photos are beautiful! You are glowing in them! I often feel as if I’m juggling 100 balls as well, sometimes it feels like their all going to drop. I hope you enjoy some “me” time! xo

  3. A perfect metaphor – indeed, I relate to this so much. Took me about five years to get there, though (or 20?). Suce I’ve let go of the stuff that was weighing me
    down things have gotten much better elsewhere in my life 🙂 xoxo

  4. I can relate to this pretty majorly right now. Especially the part where you say that some days you do nothing because you don’t even know where to begin. Those are my most frustrating days because at the end of them, I feel so unaccomplished and like I’ve sunken even deeper into my hole full of things to do. And because I have so much to do and I have so many ideas of what I want to do (not just what I need to do), the shortage of time to do it in means I don’t. I fail. It’s a constant cycle and it’s frustrating. My strong suits are most definitely NOT shining right now and I need to work on that. This summer is going to look different for me, too. I’m not working at all! And, Mia is going to a daycare (very part time). I’ll probably post about it all at some point, but I’m just so looking forward to having time to finally accomplish goals and tackle projects that have been put on the back burner. I, too, want to use my free time to dive deeper into photography. I haven’t advertised at all for my business and I’d love to be kept busy with sessions and editing again. Good for you, keeping next month free. Hopefully you’ll find the time you need, then. And in a random note, I just noticed we both used the saying “fallen to the wayside” in this month’s prompt post, unintentionally. Cute. And your photos with your little man are so sweet. You two really do shine together 🙂 -Misty

    1. I seriously love you, Misty. You just get it and I am so glad to have you in my life — my virtual life. LOL.

  5. These photos… wow. THEY ARE GORGEOUS. I want photos just like this of me and my daughter! You look so beautiful 🙂 Hopefully July is much more relaxing for you!

  6. Dena – You spoke for so many mothers here, I do believe! So many days I feel like I’m being pulled apart. I have the best of intentions do to so many things complete so many projects, but the rest of the day just gets in my way. Thank you for reminding me to SHINE as I move through life, honing in on what’s most important! And I’m SO glad we had the opportunity to meet in person. I’m so happy you love the photos, and I LOVE those you took of my family! XO

    1. Thanks, Erin. I can’t thank you enough for capturing this special time in our lives so beautifully. <3

  7. These photos are so wonderful! I loved reading this post and hearing about your current hopes and goals! I love your blog and I love when you open up and share things like this with us! Can’t wait to watch you grow.

  8. These ARE beautiful pics! You look lovely and Roman is adorable, as always.
    Do what you need to do to restore your balance. Nothing else really matters in the long run. 🙂

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