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Shine // some thoughts on balance

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

The past few months have thrown me completely off balance. With spring, everything comes alive and it is beautiful. We break free from the oppressive chains of a northeast winter. Life gets busy. It’s a natural — and wonderful — cycle. But this year, it’s been different. It’s been too much. In my efforts to make the most of the warmth I had been waiting on for so long, I hopped aboard a crazy train. I’ve been juggling like an insane circus clown. Family, friendship, photography, business, social media, blogging, gardening, cooking, cleaning, the list goes on.

My to-do list is freakish. My spirit is suffering. Even when I do something “for myself” (rarely) it’s a mad dash. There is no retreat, there is no quiet. Even the thing that I’ve always loved — my walks with Roman in the stroller — have fallen to the wayside.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

I’m certain that most women (and maybe men?) can relate to what I am feeling right now, or at the very least, have felt this way at some point in their lives. Pulled in ten thousand directions. Exhausted. Unsatisfied. I am doing so many things, that instead of greatness, I end up with a lot of junk.

My calendar for June is bursting at the seams. But, there is very good news up ahead. July is a blank slate. The only thing written on my calendar for July is a 5-night seaside getaway. Perfect. And, it’s going to stay that way.

That’s right. I am not accepting a single engagement in the month of July, save for photography sessions. I will not make plans and I will not accept any additions to my workload. I am going to dust off my New Year resolution, and make it my top priority to honor my promise to take care of me in the second half of this year.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

In life, we are always holding something. We might be holding a whole lot of useless junk — and juggling it like a loon. Or, we might be holding something beautiful, something that shines. The trick to holding something that shines is that you can’t be afraid to put the other stuff down. You have to be willing to drop some things so that the one great thing can become everything that it is capable of becoming.

That’s where I am headed now. I’ve mentioned it casually, but this is me saying it officially — the frequency with which I post here is about to change. I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to be in five years — personally and professionally. I haven’t hashed it all out yet, but I have decided that I want to make photography my career. That means that some things will need to take a backseat so that my career in photography can truly shine. I will continue blogging. I have a bunch of sponsored posts and featured posts lined up for later this month, but come July I imagine that there will be a shift.

I am not saying that I am going to drop everything and focus solely on photography. That is silly — I am a stay-at-home mother to a one-year-old and honestly, 90% of my day is devoted to wrangling him. What I am saying is that I need to restore balance in my life. I need to manage my household, my relationships, my passions (which will always include this blog), and my business. And I need to do all of this with a bit more grace than I have been doing recently. I have been so overwhelmed that many times I’ve done nothing simply because I didn’t know where to start.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

From here on out, I am going to be kinder to myself. I am going to keep far less on my to-do list. And I am going to keep my calendar as empty as possible. I want to make room for adventure and spontaneity — two things which don’t work well with a packed calendar or a long to-do list.

Many thanks to my friend, Erin Galardi, for the beautiful photographs in this post.


“Shine” is the June writing prompt of The Mommy Blogger Collective. In addition to a monthly writing prompt, the collective hosts a monthly blogger featurette. This month we are featuring Christina of Mouse in Your House. A few words from Christina — At Mouse In Your House, I’m bringing you stories about being a working mom, quirky family lifestyle trends, frugal living, DIY ideas and the talented people who make life something amazing. I hate getting bored and occasionally use Mouse In Your House to ask people very personal questions that I would, otherwise, never get away with. My goal is to find chicks and gents doing something cool and inspiring, which could lead to a feature about a family who took the year off to travel the world one day and the next day’s post could be all about how to dress a stylish toddler. To qualify for a feature, I need only go, holy moly that is frigging awesome….and you may even get a long set of questions for our next Q&A. That’s the way I roll. And P.S. I LOVE budgeting and it has taken over our lives in the past. We recently graduated from living in a 400 square-foot apartment to a 1,400 square foot house in my beloved small town of Knoxville, Tennessee. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+.

/// The Mommy Blogger Collective /// Christina, Courteney, Dena, Erica, Erin, Gillian, Katie, Misty, Nicole, and Renée. ///


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  • Carousel — 02.26.10

    Snow, snow, and more snow! Are you beginning to notice a theme here? I sure am. We’ve gotten ten inches over the past few days & the forecast calls for at least another 10-15 inches by tomorrow night. I am actually writing this on Thursday (pre-scheduling the post for Friday) because I probably won’t have an internet connection tomorrow. I will be up in the mountains & most likely snowbound.

    Well, I plan on keeping busy & keeping warm this weekend. I hope you do the same where ever you are. I recommend hot cocoa, snowman building, and warm blankets. If you are someplace warm, soak up the sun & be glad!

    Here are this week’s Carousel links. Enjoy!

    1. polaroids from marrakech, morocco: Beautiful photographs from the Our Labor of Love blog. Just looking at these make me warm inside, perfect for a cold Winter’s day.

    2. Be Indispensable: “It’s so sad because people don’t recognize that they have to go that low and wait that long.” I love Gary Vaynerchuk, this guy is probably the single-most passionate individual I’ve ever come across. Enjoy this quick video where he talks about what you need to do to become indispensable. Then go search him on YouTube when you’ve got more time—guaranteed inspiration.

    3. On the importance of “No”: “There are moments when we say ‘yes’ to others and in fact are saying ‘no’ to ourselves.”

    4. 5 ways to escape the escapist weekend: Perfect advice to make the best out of this coming weekend & then all the rest!

    5. How Do You Treat Your Food?: I love this post from the Epic Self blog. It is so important that we apply conscious living to every aspect of our lives—especially when it comes to what we put in our bodies! Being mindful about what we put in our bodies is just as important as being mindful of our thoughts, words, and actions.

    6. Stillness is a Powerful Action: “Let stillness become your most powerful action. It could change your life.” Another great post by Leo! I’ve actually been practicing stillness in my life much more frequently than ever before. The results are amazing—I feel calmer, more energized, and ready to take on the world. Stillness in the middle of a hectic day is priceless.

    7. In Defense Of The Death Penalty: Fascinating post by Tim Brownson about the power of our beliefs & values. Don’t be too put off by the title—there’s a twist.

    8. Creating a Happiness Plan: Attention, everyone! Do you have a happiness plan. If not, what are you waiting for? This post will set you on your way.

    9. the perils of justifying yourself: Leave it to Danielle to press your buttons & make you think. Do you justify yourself? You need to read this.

    Alright friends. That’s it for this week’s Carousel. I hope that you love each of these posts as much as I did. I’ll be braving the blizzard for the next few days. Wish me luck. Have a great weekend and, as always, spread love & light.

  • · · · ·

    Review: The Power of Now

    The Power of Now had been on my “to-read” list for years when, by a stroke of fate, a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. Based on my general understanding of the book and its content (prior to reading it) I felt that I would enjoy it; however, I was completely unprepared for the way that the book would speak to me, transform my perspective, and change my life.

    The Unreal Past & Future

    In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds.

    When I first heard this concept I refused to believe or comprehend it. Of course my past is real, I thought. Of course my future is real, too. How dare someone suggest that it is not? My ego lashed out; but then I thought more about it. I listened, opened my mind, and realized that it was true. I am going to ask you to walk through an exercise with me to help you understand.

    Let’s recall a memory in which you are eating something. Let’s say, for example, it’s a hot summer day and you’re licking an ice cream cone. Now, where ever you are—right now, present moment, not in the memory—I’d like you to stick your finger right into the ice cream and then throw it to the floor. Can you do that? Can you touch that ice cream cone from your memory? No, of course you can’t (unless you’re on hallucinogenics but that’s another story).

    The fact is that right now you can not touch that ice cream cone and therefore it is not real. It may seem real in your memory—in your mind—but it is not really “real”…not here, not now, not in existence. It is only a memory and it only exists in your mind.

    This principle is also true for the future. Imagine any future scenario in your mind. You win the lottery. You get fired from your job. You purchase a house. You fall off of a cliff. You can play each of those scenes out in your head. You can fill in as much detail as you like. You can mentally experience the future, but the truth remains that the future scenario isn’t “real”. You can’t actually reach out and touch anything in the future right now. The future only exists in your mind.

    When I finally grasped this concept I was shocked & amazed. It seems simple, but somehow I had been missing it for my entire life! To me, the past and the future were as real as the present. The past happened to me. The future was going to happen to me. I held on to these concepts for dear life. But then I realized the truth… the past and the present are not that important. They’re not even real. They are only in my head.

    You might be feeling a bit angry right now. (I know because I was at this point.) You might be thinking, How dare you claim that my past is not real? I’ve suffered, I’ve lived, I’ve triumphed, I’ve done X, Y, and Z. And my future, that is real too! I am going to do things 1, 2, 3, and so on!

    Your Ego Feeds on the Past & Future

    Well, my friend, I am not sorry to break it to you. That voice of anger is fueled by fear and the fear is coming from your ego.

    For your entire life, your ego has been calling the shots. He rules you by fear—fear over your past and fear over your future. So long as you believe in the reality of your past and your future, your ego has control over you. It uses every thing that ever happened in the past against you. It uses everything that you hope to happen in the future against you.

    There is only one way to overcome your ego and that is to live completely in the now. Let go of the past and the future. Be fully present in this moment.

    It is not easy. You’ve spent your entire life ruled by your ego, living in the past and present. But while it’s not easy, it is possible. It’s entirely possible for you to begin living entirely in the present moment, entirely in peace, love, & light, entirely free from the chains of your ego.

    The Power of Now is an excellent book and if you truly listen to every word and practice its teachings in your daily life, you will succeed. It has been quite a journey for me already and I’ve only been on it for a few weeks now! I am experiencing life in ways that I never dreamed possible. You can do it, too.

    *********

    Here are some of my favourite pieces from The Power of Now along with my interpretations of each.

    You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.
    Eckhart Tolle tells us that that many people ask him to “give” them his gift. His response is always the same, You already have it.

    This is entirely true. Each of us already has the immense power of now within. Tolle nor anyone else can “give” that to us—but what he can do (and does in the book) is to show you how to harness the power in your own life.

    Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction; but we don’t realize it because almost everyone is suffering from it. So, it is considered normal.
    After reading (listening to) The Power of Now, I realized that yes, the modern human being is suffering from a debilitating disease: compulsive over thinking.

    It is so obvious to me now! How many millions of people are suffering from anxiety, depression, and so on? Most of these individuals are suffering as such simply because of compulsive over thinking.

    When we stop our compulsive, ego-driven thoughts, we live in harmony. Sadly, however, most people just don’t know how to stop those thoughts.

    We must become the silent observer, as Tolle describes in the book. The first step to overcoming the compulsive thoughts is to recognize them, to be the silent observer of your mind.

    To see, but not see. To hear, but not hear.
    Have you ever had a moment, an hour, or a day where you were entirely mindless?

    For example, you are driving along the road completely spaced out from reality and suddenly you “wake up” and you don’t know where your head has been for some stretch of time. You know that you must have been seeing and aware, because you didn’t crash your vehicle. But you weren’t really there. You were seeing but not seeing.

    Another example, you are in conversation with a friend or loved one and you begin zoning out. You hear words coming out of her mouth, but when she finally stops talking, you realize that you have no idea what she just said. You were listening, but you weren’t really there. You were hearing but not hearing.

    This is what it means to see, but not see; to hear, but not hear. It is living life in an unconscious state, on autopilot. Most likely you are daydreaming about the unreal past or future. You can overcome this state of nothingness and time wasting by harnessing the power of now and being fully present in each moment.

    Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is the only chance for the survival of our species.
    “Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.”

    *********

    I could write ten posts about The Power of Now and I would only begin to scratch the surface. The book is extremely intensive. Tolle’s language is thick and weighted with meaning. The content is formatted as question and answer for the sake of clarity—but it is still heavy reading. As I mentioned earlier, I listened to the audio book and I would highly recommend this format. I have heard that reading the text can be confusing and I can understand why.

    The audio book does span several hours, but it is entirely worth every moment. If you can not afford to buy the audio book, you should consider borrowing it from your local library.

    If you decide to read or have read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts. Whether or not you decide to, I hope that you will consider the ideas that I have shared in this post.

    Thinking about being somewhere else uses up your precious, present moments. Be here now. —Wayne Dyer

16 Comments

  1. Ahh yes, my kindred spirit, Dena, I see we are in similar places in life… AGAIN! I can feel exactly the disdain you’re feeling, and “appreciate” it for all that it does to help change and mold a person. Hang in there, take some deep breaths, it seems like you’ve got the right idea (no engagements). You’re going to feel great after this break 🙂 xo Crista

    1. Thanks, Crista. We’re only two days into the month and I’m already struggling with it — but I am determined!! <3

  2. Dena those photos are beautiful! You are glowing in them! I often feel as if I’m juggling 100 balls as well, sometimes it feels like their all going to drop. I hope you enjoy some “me” time! xo

  3. A perfect metaphor – indeed, I relate to this so much. Took me about five years to get there, though (or 20?). Suce I’ve let go of the stuff that was weighing me
    down things have gotten much better elsewhere in my life 🙂 xoxo

  4. I can relate to this pretty majorly right now. Especially the part where you say that some days you do nothing because you don’t even know where to begin. Those are my most frustrating days because at the end of them, I feel so unaccomplished and like I’ve sunken even deeper into my hole full of things to do. And because I have so much to do and I have so many ideas of what I want to do (not just what I need to do), the shortage of time to do it in means I don’t. I fail. It’s a constant cycle and it’s frustrating. My strong suits are most definitely NOT shining right now and I need to work on that. This summer is going to look different for me, too. I’m not working at all! And, Mia is going to a daycare (very part time). I’ll probably post about it all at some point, but I’m just so looking forward to having time to finally accomplish goals and tackle projects that have been put on the back burner. I, too, want to use my free time to dive deeper into photography. I haven’t advertised at all for my business and I’d love to be kept busy with sessions and editing again. Good for you, keeping next month free. Hopefully you’ll find the time you need, then. And in a random note, I just noticed we both used the saying “fallen to the wayside” in this month’s prompt post, unintentionally. Cute. And your photos with your little man are so sweet. You two really do shine together 🙂 -Misty

    1. I seriously love you, Misty. You just get it and I am so glad to have you in my life — my virtual life. LOL.

  5. These photos… wow. THEY ARE GORGEOUS. I want photos just like this of me and my daughter! You look so beautiful 🙂 Hopefully July is much more relaxing for you!

  6. Dena – You spoke for so many mothers here, I do believe! So many days I feel like I’m being pulled apart. I have the best of intentions do to so many things complete so many projects, but the rest of the day just gets in my way. Thank you for reminding me to SHINE as I move through life, honing in on what’s most important! And I’m SO glad we had the opportunity to meet in person. I’m so happy you love the photos, and I LOVE those you took of my family! XO

    1. Thanks, Erin. I can’t thank you enough for capturing this special time in our lives so beautifully. <3

  7. These photos are so wonderful! I loved reading this post and hearing about your current hopes and goals! I love your blog and I love when you open up and share things like this with us! Can’t wait to watch you grow.

  8. These ARE beautiful pics! You look lovely and Roman is adorable, as always.
    Do what you need to do to restore your balance. Nothing else really matters in the long run. 🙂

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