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Shine // some thoughts on balance

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

The past few months have thrown me completely off balance. With spring, everything comes alive and it is beautiful. We break free from the oppressive chains of a northeast winter. Life gets busy. It’s a natural — and wonderful — cycle. But this year, it’s been different. It’s been too much. In my efforts to make the most of the warmth I had been waiting on for so long, I hopped aboard a crazy train. I’ve been juggling like an insane circus clown. Family, friendship, photography, business, social media, blogging, gardening, cooking, cleaning, the list goes on.

My to-do list is freakish. My spirit is suffering. Even when I do something “for myself” (rarely) it’s a mad dash. There is no retreat, there is no quiet. Even the thing that I’ve always loved — my walks with Roman in the stroller — have fallen to the wayside.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

I’m certain that most women (and maybe men?) can relate to what I am feeling right now, or at the very least, have felt this way at some point in their lives. Pulled in ten thousand directions. Exhausted. Unsatisfied. I am doing so many things, that instead of greatness, I end up with a lot of junk.

My calendar for June is bursting at the seams. But, there is very good news up ahead. July is a blank slate. The only thing written on my calendar for July is a 5-night seaside getaway. Perfect. And, it’s going to stay that way.

That’s right. I am not accepting a single engagement in the month of July, save for photography sessions. I will not make plans and I will not accept any additions to my workload. I am going to dust off my New Year resolution, and make it my top priority to honor my promise to take care of me in the second half of this year.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

In life, we are always holding something. We might be holding a whole lot of useless junk — and juggling it like a loon. Or, we might be holding something beautiful, something that shines. The trick to holding something that shines is that you can’t be afraid to put the other stuff down. You have to be willing to drop some things so that the one great thing can become everything that it is capable of becoming.

That’s where I am headed now. I’ve mentioned it casually, but this is me saying it officially — the frequency with which I post here is about to change. I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to be in five years — personally and professionally. I haven’t hashed it all out yet, but I have decided that I want to make photography my career. That means that some things will need to take a backseat so that my career in photography can truly shine. I will continue blogging. I have a bunch of sponsored posts and featured posts lined up for later this month, but come July I imagine that there will be a shift.

I am not saying that I am going to drop everything and focus solely on photography. That is silly — I am a stay-at-home mother to a one-year-old and honestly, 90% of my day is devoted to wrangling him. What I am saying is that I need to restore balance in my life. I need to manage my household, my relationships, my passions (which will always include this blog), and my business. And I need to do all of this with a bit more grace than I have been doing recently. I have been so overwhelmed that many times I’ve done nothing simply because I didn’t know where to start.

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

mama & baby | livelovesimple.com

From here on out, I am going to be kinder to myself. I am going to keep far less on my to-do list. And I am going to keep my calendar as empty as possible. I want to make room for adventure and spontaneity — two things which don’t work well with a packed calendar or a long to-do list.

Many thanks to my friend, Erin Galardi, for the beautiful photographs in this post.


“Shine” is the June writing prompt of The Mommy Blogger Collective. In addition to a monthly writing prompt, the collective hosts a monthly blogger featurette. This month we are featuring Christina of Mouse in Your House. A few words from Christina — At Mouse In Your House, I’m bringing you stories about being a working mom, quirky family lifestyle trends, frugal living, DIY ideas and the talented people who make life something amazing. I hate getting bored and occasionally use Mouse In Your House to ask people very personal questions that I would, otherwise, never get away with. My goal is to find chicks and gents doing something cool and inspiring, which could lead to a feature about a family who took the year off to travel the world one day and the next day’s post could be all about how to dress a stylish toddler. To qualify for a feature, I need only go, holy moly that is frigging awesome….and you may even get a long set of questions for our next Q&A. That’s the way I roll. And P.S. I LOVE budgeting and it has taken over our lives in the past. We recently graduated from living in a 400 square-foot apartment to a 1,400 square foot house in my beloved small town of Knoxville, Tennessee. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+.

/// The Mommy Blogger Collective /// Christina, Courteney, Dena, Erica, Erin, Gillian, Katie, Misty, Nicole, and Renée. ///


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  • · · ·

    3 Super Simple Ways to Reduce Stress, Improve Health, & Live Happy

    Want to know how you can cut your stress in half?

    How about if there were two things you could change that would drastically alter your stress levels for the rest of your life?

    Now I bet you really want to know, right?

    What if I told you that doing these simple things will not only decrease your stress levels, but will also make you happier and decrease your risk of heart attack, ulcers, & high blood pressure?

    Ready for this? Four words: Stop Rushing, Take Vacation.

    Yes, that’s it. It’s really quite simple, but the results that you will see if you make these changes will amaze you.

    The Problems
    So why is rushing & a lack of vacation such a huge problem? Well, rushing every now and then wouldn’t really be such a problem. But in today’s society, the reality is that we don’t just rush every now and then. We rush all of the time.

    We are constantly hurrying from one thing to the next, multitasking, with our minds in five different places at once. We browse the Web in multiple Windows. We watch television while surfing the Web. We talk on our house phones while texting on our cell phones/iPhones/Blackberrys. While we’re driving to work, we’re planning our days, who we’ll see at each meeting, and what we’re having for dinner. While we’re eating dinner, we’re checking our email, responding to emails, and thinking about what’s on TV that night. While we’re watching TV that night, we’re thinking about everything we’ve got to do tomorrow. You get the picture…

    The Facts
    The United States is one of (if not the) most stressful, fast-paced, uptight societies in existence. The “American way” of rush, rush, rush has huge negative implications. And sadly, the rest of the world is beginning to follow suit. It’s not a good path to be on.

    Here are some statistics about minimum vacation days around the world:

    Austria — 35 days
    Brazil — 30 days
    Finland — 35 days
    Sweden — 32 days
    Ukraine — 24 days
    United States — 7 days
    (Source: http://nationmaster.com)

    7 days? Really? WTF United States!?!?!?

    Every year Expedia.com launches an intense Vacation Deprivation survey to gather the facts & the effects of American Vacation Deprivation.

    Check out these stats:

    Notice that despite earning the least amount of annual vacation days, Americans will still leave an average of 3 days unused! This goes to show that so many Americans don’t even use the little vacation time that they get! Not good.

    Why is Vacation So Important?
    Let’s talk about mental health.

    • 34% of Americans say they come back from vacation feeling better about their jobs and are even more productive.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling rested and rejuvenated after vacation.
    • 53% of employed U.S. adults say they come back feeling reconnected with family after vacation.

    It’s no big secret that work can be stressful. Even if you absolutely adore your career, you still have the occasional (or frequent) challenging day. If you refuse to take a breather every now & then, you are putting your mental health and your relationships at risk.

    Obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, anxiety, depression, and so on are all symptoms of stress. Stress causes cortisol to build up in your body, the cortisol is then stored as dangerous fat. In addition to all of the physical symptoms of stress, there is the issue of rushing around. When you are rushing nonstop from place to place, it’s easy to stop for fast-food because you don’t make the time to cook nutritious meals for yourself and your family.

    If you look at the rates of obesity around the globe, you probably won’t be shocked to see where the United States fits in.

    That’s right, numero uno. Not a good place to be in this case. Americans are the most obese individuals in the world. A sad fact to note considering that we are also some of the richest people, with some of the most vast & diverse availability to nutritious & wholesome food. (Please watch Food, Inc. for more information on this topic.)

    Turning the Tide
    The facts are straightforward. Constant rushing & vacation deprivation will cause you harm. Here are 3 super simple ways that you can combat these harmful habits.

    1. Practice efficient time management. Keep a calendar and don’t overbook yourself, no exceptions. We all have a ton of stuff that we want to get done, but we have to prioritize. Choose the tasks that mean the most to you and will provide you with the best ROI (return on investment). Don’t commit to anything that doesn’t benefit you, your career, your family, or your friends in a big way. Your time is precious and you should treat it as such.

    2. Use your vacation time, all of it. No matter how many days that your company allots for vacation, make sure and use it. If your company tends to be on the real stingy side with vacation, don’t be afraid to set a confidential meeting with your HR director to point out the importance of sufficient vacation time. Sufficient vacation time is mutually beneficial — you will feel better and thereby, your performance will improve. Win – Win!

    Likewise, if you work for yourself, make sure to pencil in enough time for R & R.

    3. Breathe. When you are rushing, you are most likely breathing shallow. Shallow breathing causes rapid heart rate & conversely, deep breathing causes a slower heart rate. Take time to observe your breathing throughout the day. If you find yourself shallow breathing, take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest & deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.

    * — * — * — * — *

    Slow down, be in the now.

16 Comments

  1. Ahh yes, my kindred spirit, Dena, I see we are in similar places in life… AGAIN! I can feel exactly the disdain you’re feeling, and “appreciate” it for all that it does to help change and mold a person. Hang in there, take some deep breaths, it seems like you’ve got the right idea (no engagements). You’re going to feel great after this break 🙂 xo Crista

    1. Thanks, Crista. We’re only two days into the month and I’m already struggling with it — but I am determined!! <3

  2. Dena those photos are beautiful! You are glowing in them! I often feel as if I’m juggling 100 balls as well, sometimes it feels like their all going to drop. I hope you enjoy some “me” time! xo

  3. A perfect metaphor – indeed, I relate to this so much. Took me about five years to get there, though (or 20?). Suce I’ve let go of the stuff that was weighing me
    down things have gotten much better elsewhere in my life 🙂 xoxo

  4. I can relate to this pretty majorly right now. Especially the part where you say that some days you do nothing because you don’t even know where to begin. Those are my most frustrating days because at the end of them, I feel so unaccomplished and like I’ve sunken even deeper into my hole full of things to do. And because I have so much to do and I have so many ideas of what I want to do (not just what I need to do), the shortage of time to do it in means I don’t. I fail. It’s a constant cycle and it’s frustrating. My strong suits are most definitely NOT shining right now and I need to work on that. This summer is going to look different for me, too. I’m not working at all! And, Mia is going to a daycare (very part time). I’ll probably post about it all at some point, but I’m just so looking forward to having time to finally accomplish goals and tackle projects that have been put on the back burner. I, too, want to use my free time to dive deeper into photography. I haven’t advertised at all for my business and I’d love to be kept busy with sessions and editing again. Good for you, keeping next month free. Hopefully you’ll find the time you need, then. And in a random note, I just noticed we both used the saying “fallen to the wayside” in this month’s prompt post, unintentionally. Cute. And your photos with your little man are so sweet. You two really do shine together 🙂 -Misty

    1. I seriously love you, Misty. You just get it and I am so glad to have you in my life — my virtual life. LOL.

  5. These photos… wow. THEY ARE GORGEOUS. I want photos just like this of me and my daughter! You look so beautiful 🙂 Hopefully July is much more relaxing for you!

  6. Dena – You spoke for so many mothers here, I do believe! So many days I feel like I’m being pulled apart. I have the best of intentions do to so many things complete so many projects, but the rest of the day just gets in my way. Thank you for reminding me to SHINE as I move through life, honing in on what’s most important! And I’m SO glad we had the opportunity to meet in person. I’m so happy you love the photos, and I LOVE those you took of my family! XO

    1. Thanks, Erin. I can’t thank you enough for capturing this special time in our lives so beautifully. <3

  7. These photos are so wonderful! I loved reading this post and hearing about your current hopes and goals! I love your blog and I love when you open up and share things like this with us! Can’t wait to watch you grow.

  8. These ARE beautiful pics! You look lovely and Roman is adorable, as always.
    Do what you need to do to restore your balance. Nothing else really matters in the long run. 🙂

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