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Taking a Break from Facebook | Part 2

Taking a Break from Facebook was the first entry that I wrote here at Evolution. Back then, I was still at the very beginning stages of creating this blog. It seems like forever ago (though it’s only been six months). When I wrote that entry, I really was taking a break from Facebook. At that time, I decided to spend less of my time prowling the dark alleys of Facebook and shift my focus to other social networking sites (like Twitter) and create this blog. What a great decision!

I knew that taking a break from Facebook was going to increase my productivity, but I never imagined that it would lead me on a journey to creating a blog, making incredible connections, and falling head over heels in love with my new life as a part-time blogger.

Since then, I have gotten back on Facebook, but I no longer feel the addiction to it that I once did. No more incessant desires to check my “Live Feed” every half hour, and no more dramatic impulse to “Like” or “Comment” on every single “Status Update” that I read.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Faceook. I’ve been using it since 2005. It has a lot of redeeming qualities. It’s nice to keep in touch with my cousin in Hawaii and my good friends in the UK. I love to see the beautiful photographs that my friends and family post. It’s wonderful to know what’s going on in everyone’s life at the click of the mouse…

On the other hand, it’s a bit disconcerting when I get “Friend Requests” from the check out clerk of the grocery store that I’ve been in once and the woman that delivered mail to my house when I was five-years-old! Aside from the outrageous friend requests, I’ve recently heard several stories about people becoming serisouly addicted to the social networking site. I’ve even heard about Facebook addiction support groups and therapists offering Facebook addiction counseling.

I see a trend here and it’s not a good one. The internet has long been blamed for many things – childhood obesity, extramarital affairs, identity theft and much more. Facebook, and similar social networking sites, could worsen the problem; but only if we let it. With a bit of common sense and a willingness to exhibit some restraint, we can all reap the positive benefits of social media – like networking, community building, and keeping in touch with loved ones – and at the same time, still maintain our sanity & productivity.

How To Take a Break From Facebook (And Control Yourself When You Return):

1. Step away. The first thing you’ll want to do is literally step away from Facebook for awhile. Without going in to much detail, make a simple status update about your departure.

Sample: I will be away from Facebook for a little while. Try not to miss me too much. If you need me shoot me an email at denabotbyl@gmail.com.

Keep it short & sweet and leave people with a way to contact you (since most have long-forgotten how to use a telephone).

2. Limit your intake. After the detox, you should feel fresh & lighter. You are ready to step back in with a new perspective. Each time you go to log on, take a moment to decide how long you’ll spend. Will you take 5 minutes to sort through messages & reply to comments? Or do you intend to spend a half hour catching up on things? Either way is fine, but set a finite amount of time and stick to it! The point here is to be conscious of your actions.

3. Take inventory of what matters. Now that you’ve got a better handle on the situation, decide whether or not there are other issues at play. Are you spending so much time on Facebook because you haven’t got better things to do? Perhaps you need to take up a new hobby. Join a knitting club, take up jogging, buy a cookbook & start trying new recipes. It’s not to say that you shouldn’t be on Facebook at all, but in the same token, it shouldn’t be the highlight of your day.

4. Enjoy Facebook in a healthy way. Stay connected, spread love & light. Don’t get sucked into the madness. Facebook is not the real world. Like all things, moderation is key.

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When you do consciously decide to spend your valuable time on Facebook, make sure you are doing something productive that will enrich your life. Never forget how valuable your time truly is. Use Facebook to strengthen your relationships, support causes that move you, share art, and learn. Feel free to join the Evolution Facebook Fan Page at http://facebook.com/evolutionblog.

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    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

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