Marina Grace is four-months-old. She recently rolled over from her back to her belly. She’s been trying for awhile, but her arm always gets in the way. She hasn’t done it again since, but she’s getting close and growing stronger every day.
Her favorite thing is being carried and looking around. As long as she is being carried by someone who is moving and as long as there is something to look at, she’s a happy girl. On the flip side, this is literally the only thing that makes her happy for 90% of her waking hours, which is absolutely exhausting for her mama & her papa.
Her colic has not subsided and we are only able to put her down for about 45 minutes a day, total. She won’t hang out, or sit in her swing, or nap, or anything else. If she’s not being held, she screams. In her car seat, she screams. Occasionally, she will fall asleep in the car for twenty minutes, but as soon as you come to a traffic light or stop sign and the car stops moving, she wakes up, and screams.
It’s alarming how long she can scream for, and how loudly. I venture there’s a fair chance that she will grow up to be an opera singer or an endurance athlete, or some combination of the two.
The good news is that she’s actually quite healthy and happy. As long as she’s receiving constant attention, she’s all smiles. She really has the biggest, brightest smile. She really giggled for the first time recently. It was just the sweetest sound. She absolutely loves to get kisses on her cheeks and when she does, she just lights up.
She sleeps, still in my arms, from about 7 pm until about 6 am. During the day, she might take two or three twenty to forty-minute naps, if we’re lucky. These occur while she is being held, in her swing (rarely), or in her car seat. If I lay down with her, she will easily sleep for two hours. This indicates that she is actually tired, that she does actually need sleep, and that exhaustion is most likely the cause of her constant screaming.
She’s had lots of firsts since hitting four-months a week ago, including her first time at the beach, her first time in a baby, blow-up pool, and her first taste of ice cream. We also tried to give her a bit of rice cereal, but she mainly just swished it around in her mouth and then squished it out through her lips.
Other than this, she’s still exclusively breastfed. I got some really expensive, specialized baby formula from a friend about a month ago. We were all set to try it but then, I don’t know, I didn’t have the heart to. And then as the past few weeks have gone by, it’s just become increasingly obvious that there’s nothing really “wrong” with Marina and no real need to give her formula.
She’s just fussy and high-needs. I mean I have literally let her cry for twenty straight minutes and she will scream — blood-curdling, top of her lungs, drenched in sweat — and as soon as I pick her up, she’s happy as a pig in shit, all smiles. I’m not deliberately letting her cry, by the way. But sometimes I obviously have to put her down in order to take care of Roman, go to the bathroom, eat, drink, etc.
Once again, I wish I had some brighter news to share on the Marina-front, but here we are still. You know, I’m not a jealous person. In fact, I’m one of the least jealous people you’ll ever meet. I think that jealousy is a useless emotion. I’m quite confident in myself and I love my life passionately. However, I will say this: at this point in my life, I am deeply envious of those who have/had laid back, easygoing infants. I know that it is such a short and special period of life, having such a tiny baby, and it breaks my heart that I’ve (we’ve) had to endure such suffering through it.
I also know that in the grand scheme of things, I am incredibly blessed. I have so many blessings that I can’t begin to name them, and one of them right up in the top of the list, is my sweet & beautiful Marina Grace.
Everyone is always reminding me to enjoy these days because they will pass quickly. I appreciate the advice, but it’s information that I’m well aware of. Roman is two years and two months, and sometimes it honestly feels like I gave birth to him last week. Even though the hours and the days drag when life is hard, the months and the years still fly by.
This post is turning into a life philosophy post instead of a baby update. So I’ll end it here.
I’ve written this whole thing on my phone with my right hand while Marina sleeps nestled in my left arm. Time at my computer is extremely limited these days, so I hope that what I’ve written here is actually somewhat sensible. 😉
P.S. How adorable is she in her little, pink bikini!? I just can’t even.