I am so blessed to have been through the miraculous experience of giving birth twice now. My perspectives on motherhood have changed a little bit, but many of the thoughts & emotions that I felt from the very start have remained the same. In my last post, I wrote that although “I have gained some small measure of confidence along the way, deep down, I am still scared all of the time — always questioning each decision that I make. Am I doing the right thing? Is there a right thing?”
That uncertainty and fear remains, it will always be there to an extent, I am certain. However, I have been working really hard on letting go and letting God. Reading back on my words from the past, I recognize that I have come along in my journey. Gratefully, today, faith plays a much larger role in my life and that faith allows me even more confidence in that I am making the right choices for my sweet little ones.
Speaking of choices, if you happen to be researching cord blood banking for yourself, I encourage you to check out LifebankUSA, a cord blood bank, that is a leader in stem cell banking. Cord and placental banking upon your baby’s birth offers promising opportunities for the treatment of diseases and injuries that your child may experience later in life. It is a fascinating opportunity for parents to consider. Science is truly amazing and each step that we can take as parents to give ourselves peace of mind is a wonderful thing.
Thank you for reading, friends. As always, I am sending you love & light. xo
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Happy Friday, friends. A few days ago, I was searching for a new desktop background. I was hoping to find a calendar with some beautiful autumn watercolors, but the only ones I could find were very outdated. So I decided to make one myself. I thought I’d share it here for anyone else that might be interested.
Let me know if you like it and if you’d be interested in me creating more freebies like this in the future!
To download simply click the link below that best suits your screen size. Then right click and choose ‘set as desktop background.’ Enjoy!
Today marks one week since I took these pictures and one week since Roman’s first day of preschool. Over the years, I’ve shared how I’ve gone back & forth between sending my children off to school and homeschooling. About a year ago, I began bringing Roman to church with me on Sundays and leaving him in the church nursery with the teachers and other children. To my surprise, he loved it. There were no tears, not even close! He made friends immediately and he was always looking forward to going. Then, over the summer, I enrolled him in art camp for a few days. Again, he loved the experience and didn’t flinch when I walked away. It is clear to me that he really enjoys being around other children.
Since Marina’s birth, it has gotten more and more difficult for me to homeschool Roman. Marina was a high needs baby and continues to be a high needs toddler. I’ll write in detail about that, but for now, suffice to say that effective homeschooling has become next to impossible (for me!).
In any case, now that Roman is in his second week of preschool, I can see how much he is growing & thriving already. He adores his teachers and his friends. He’s learning new things and experiencing interpersonal relationships in a way that I never could have provided him at home. I am very happy with our choice to send him. He goes to school twice a week — on Wednesdays & Fridays from 9:00 am to 11:30 am.
Roman’s school is a modern Co-Op Nursery School located in my church (which is also where I work!). The school is nonsectarian (not faith-based) and it’s very family-oriented. Parents are encouraged to be involved as much as possible. It is strictly a nursery/preschool, meaning that it is not a daycare (there are no infants, and no full-day program available for working parents). There are two classes–a class for two-year-olds and a class for three & four-year-olds. I love the school’s philosophies which include hands-on learning, class trips, outdoor play, science, music, and art.
I was a little bit emotional on his first day, but mostly I was just as excited as he was. There were no tears shed from any of us, which really surprised me. I thought I would be Miss Waterworks, but it all went off without a hitch. While some of the other little ones were nervous, Roman wasn’t at all. In fact, he ran straight up to his teachers and greeted them with a big hug. One of the teachers said, “Wow! We’re used to getting this kind of love on the last day, not the first!” My sweet, loving boy. He fills my heart with a warm pride that I could never put into words.
Here’s hoping that the rest of the year goes as smoothly & wonderfully as the beginning has. xo
Hey, friends. It’s quarter after nine on a Tuesday morning. I’m sitting at my desk with a cup of hot tea & honey, sick — really sick — for the third time this year. I used to get sick once a year, if that. Now I have toddlers and it’s a whole new ball game. Those sweet little hands that touch everything and those little mouths that always seem to find the dirtiest places. Anyway, being sick always makes me a bit more introspective. And yesterday, I came to a decision that’s been worming around in my brain for awhile now: I’m giving up scrolling on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat and blogs for six months.
I adore social media, I really do. I love it so much that it’s fair to say that I am addicted. Since that’s the case, it’s difficult to explain this decision. The best way I can explain it is to say that social media has taken root in my life in places where it shouldn’t be.
I don’t plan on closing my accounts, and in fact, I still plan to share & post across social media. I’ll be posting here on my blog, too. What I am giving up, is looking at other people’s content. It’s not going to be easy. There are so many feeds and blogs that I absolutely adore. I feel in some ways that I am turning away from friendships that mean so much to me. There are so many people who touch, inspire, and support me through these mediums. At the same time, however, in the past years I’ve also noticed an ugliness growing inside of me when it comes to the world of social media. There are three elements to this ugliness.
The first ugliness is comparison. I simply find myself looking into other people’s, particularly women’s, lives and feeling inadequate. I know that I am not alone. I know that insecurity runs rampant on social media because what is social media anyway, but a sharing of highlights. People sharing their most beautiful moments. What happens next is only natural, the onlooker sees these beautiful moments, compares them to her ugliest moments, and is left feeling like a failure through and through. It’s a ridiculous scenario, truth-be-told, but such is the dilemma of the modern age. Whether it’s real or not, I simply need a break from it.
I want to admire the beauty that exists every day in my own life. I want to make things beautiful because I think that they are beautiful, because they speak to my soul and please my eyes; not because I saw it in someone’s feed and felt envious. As they say, comparison is the thief of joy.
The second ugliness is the diversion of my attention. Have you heard of that awful word, FOMO? It’s an acronym for “fear of missing out.” The google dictionary defines it as, “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.”
In my case, FOMO is really real. If I don’t look at social media for an entire day I feel a genuine anxiety rising up in my chest. I wonder what I am missing. When I finally get an opportunity to scroll, I am scrolling feverishly and heaven forbid I should be interrupted. It’s as though I am having a catch up with a long lost friend. I have so much emotionally invested in it and it’s ridiculous.
As I mentioned above, and as I too often lose sight of, social media is a highlight reel. People are not there sharing their truest deepest feelings, heartaches, joys, and truths. Well, in some cases, they may be — but if they are your true friend these are things that they should be sitting and telling you face-to-face over a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. It shouldn’t be the end of the world because you didn’t see it on Facebook.
I want to stop investing so much of my attention toward social media for awhile. I would rather focus on being the best mother that I can be, on creating artistically, on my real life friendships, and on living in the real world. I hope to nurture my online friendships in some way, too. I am going to take stock of who I am missing as I move through this process and perhaps seek out “real life” mailing addresses. Paper mail, what a novel idea. I won’t dare to presume that anyone will miss me (especially since I’ll still be posting — I know it’s a bit one-sided and perhaps selfish) but please feel free to request my mailing address if you feel so moved. If penpal-ing isn’t a lost art, I don’t know what is!
The final ugliness is negativity. Over the past two years, I have found myself at times, getting genuinely furious or heartbroken far too many times over something that I have read on Facebook. All of our constitutions are different. We’re all made up of different things and we process information in different ways. Something that I have known about myself for a long time is that I am extremely sensitive. I am like a sponge. I soak up whatever is around me and it shoots directly into the very fibers of my being. I am not weak, but I am simply absorbent. There is nothing that I can do to change it, it is who I am.
In many ways my absorbancy is a gift, it allows me to care and relate deeply to others. It allows me compassion and empathy on a grand scale. I can feel love and joy for friends and family as if it were my very own. But, as with most things, there is a dark side. While social media can be a place to share great beauty it is also a place where people share anger, sadness, filth, hatred, bigotry, violence, and more. Many times, it’s too much for me to handle.
I have done my very best to speak out against wrongs and injustice. I will never give up on that cause. Yet, I won’t keep subjecting myself to it, day in and day out, at this point in my life. As a mother with two young children to care for, my energy and emotions are stretched very thin. I feel that I owe it to myself and to my babies to not expend my precious energy on the horrors of social media at this point in my life.
There is too much beauty in this world, and even too much sadness in my immediate circle, that I don’t need to be pouring myself out into the atrocities around the world every single day. If you think that I am burying my head in the sand, I am not. I have no desire to become numb or ignorant. However, I do know that there are people around me (friends, family, neighbors) who are sick, sad, hungry, and so on. Let it be my aim to make a difference, a true difference, rather than sitting behind a screen, feeling helpless, while my blood pressure rises to infinitum.
There is a season for all things. This is the season that I am in. I am a bit nervous about this change, but I am excited about it, too. I am sure that I will write more about this “social” experiment as time goes on.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I am doing. Have you ever thought of taking a break? Do you find that the good of social media outweighs the bad? I’ve been on the fence about it for so long. I suppose that is why I am taking this “six month” break and still remaining somewhat active, rather than deleting my accounts entirely. I am testing the waters.
“Back to School” season is in full swing and this year it’s been hitting our home extra hard, because Roman just started preschool! It’s been such an exciting first week for him and our family as we’ve gathered around to cheer him on.
Having a reason to do a little extra autumn shopping & styling for my baby boy is such a joy for me. I just adore all of the autumn colors and styles in the stores these days. Rich golden yellow, deep red hues, and the warmest browns are everywhere. I love finding adorable ways to keep my babies looking stylish & comfortable.
One of my favorite ways to add a cute detail to their looks is with glasses. There is something beyond adorable about the way the perfect frame just finishes their look and compliments their sweet, little faces.
One of my favorite places to find fashion eyewear at a great value for me & my kids is JCPenney Optical. Their selection has everything that you need for fun, style, and Back to School.
And while I’m on the subject, I have to share these gorgeous Cover Girl frames from JCPenney Optical that I’ve fallen in love with.
I couldn’t decide between the brown or the black frames, so I took to Snapchat to ask my friends for their thoughts. It looks like I’m going to go with the brown!
If you happen to be in the market for frames for yourself or your little ones, head in to JCPenney Optical today, the Labor Day Sale lasts through the end of the day and you can get 60% off a pair of frames!
Happy Friday, friends. I hope that you have a beautiful weekend and that your little ones first week back to school was a great success. xo
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
