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Stop Over-Thinking & Burn Your Ships!

 

“Sometimes the key to success is a situation where there’s no going back.” —Alex Shalman

One of Julius Caesar’s most famous victories occurred when he set fire to his own ships upon stepping onto enemy soil. Caesar and his men had no choice but to advance and to win. This action struck such great fear into the hearts of his enemies that victory was inevitable. What courage! I want to to teach you how you can stop over-thinking and start living your life today by burning your own ships!

I stress the power of thought on this blog all the time—especially the power of positive, rational thought—but today I am going to talk about another aspect of thought: over-thinking. Face it, there are things that you would love to do; but you can’t. Why not? Because you think too much.

How many times have you caught yourself saying or thinking:

Well, I would love to go there, but…

Well, I would love to try that, but…

Each of those statements is a fear-based thought and a product of over-thinking & over-analyzing. More importantly, each of those thoughts is unnecessary!

The Cycle
When you really boil it down, over-thinking is a defense mechanism. You are afraid to act, so you start to think. You think and think and think. You’ve been dreaming of taking a trip to Beijing for the last five years. You’ve looked at airfare, hotels, tourist destinations. You even bought an English/Chinese dictionary. But you have not booked your trip. In fact, you have not even thought about booking your trip because… Well, I would love to go there, but… I can’t take the time off of work. I really should wait until the economy improves. The dollar isn’t doing so well. Airport security is such a pain in the ass. I’m afraid of planes anyway. The timing isn’t right. There are a million reasons really. I would love to but…

That’s how it happens. You identify a goal. You start to think about it and then. Bam! The thoughts start. They begin to roll down the snow hill in your mind. And the further down it rolls, the faster it starts to spin. The faster is starts to spin, the more snow it picks up. And eventually, there is one giant snow ball siting at the foot of the hill completely frozen, stagnant. And it’s you—a big scared snowball.

“As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can.” —Julius Caesar

The equation is simple. You have a goal (China). You start to think about it. The negative thoughts start to pile up (money, work, security, etc.). Over-thinking = anxiety = inaction.

If you want to accomplish anything in your life, you’ve got to stop over-thinking. Whether you want to take a trip, ask for a raise, get out of an abusive relationship, or buy a new couch—you won’t do anything if you don’t stop over-thinking and start taking action!

Breaking the Cycle
1. Identify your goal.

2. Eliminate the fears and excuses surrounding your goal. The negative thoughts that pop into your mind are not valid reasons to give up on your goals. They are just fears (and most likely irrational fears).

“I can’t take time off of work.” Yes, you can. You have vacation time, use it. Why are you saving it, just to carry it over until next year? You could walk out of the office today and get hit by a bus! Even if you are a cocktail waitress and you don’t have vacation time, guess what? You can still take your vacation! Taking an epic journey is an invaluable life experience. You will gain insights that will help further you as an individual and as a professional. Work is an excuse based in fear.

“The economy sucks.” Congratulations! Yes, it does. What the hell does that have to do with you following your dreams? If you want it bad enough, you can (and will) find a way to make it happen. Pick up an extra shift, mow lawns, do some freelance work. Stop thinking and make it happen.

“Airport security is a pain in the ass and I’m afraid of flying.” This one is easy. Build a bridge and get over it! Stop making excuses, my friend. Life is too short.

3. Take action. Stop surfing the internet; put down the remote control; and make your reservations already! Look, you’ve been dreaming about this for so long, you are not going to regret it.

Begin Living Your Dreams Today
Over-thinking seems minor but it destroys lives. People literally waste their lives away thinking. People stay trapped at jobs they hate for decades. People stay trapped in unhealthy relationships for lifetimes. People fantasize of faraway places forever and never get there because they are too afraid to stop thinking and take action.

Each of us has the ability to make our lives exactly what we want it to be. Any cage that surrounds you is self-created. Any chains that weigh you down are self-created. Human beings have overcome incredible odds and done superhuman things. It happens every single day. You can be one of those people… or you can be one of the ones that wastes away in boredom out of fear.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” —Anthony Robbins

Stop wasting away. Make the choice to live the life of your dreams right now and don’t look back. What do you want? Write it down. Make it happen. Don’t waste another second. Stop thinking… just do it!

 

 

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

6 Comments

  1. Too true, it'd be nice to be able to flick a switch to become care free!

    Step 3. Take Action! I know one day i'm just going to have to pack up, and do the move overseas! It's not going to get any easier.

    Dena your posts have been inline with exactly what I've been thinking lately! A bit scary…. 🙂

  2. I think the most important and missed step by many is that of not TAKING ACTION. I know that once I did in my life, everything I wanted became reality. The more I thought about doing something (like you said) the less it was likely to occur. I ahd to take action steps towards that goal.

    Great post!

    David Damron
    LifeExcursion

  3. @Andrew – I am glad that you can relate. I try to make the posts at Evolution relate-able. I feel like there are so many seemingly small things that are actually really large things preventing people from living their best lives! It is my mission to get them all out there on the table and to help people be their best selves. I'm like a rainbow on a mission to spread love and light all over the world. Haha!

    We are all connected by far deeper bonds than we can understand.

    @Dave – Thanks so much for your comment and for your thoughts. You are absolutely right. Even taking small steps toward the goal is better than sitting on the couch and "thinking" about it. Thank you for being an inspiration! 🙂

  4. Lately I haven't been feeling anything. Well, there was only irritation,frustration and thoughts like "geez, God seriously must hate me". And You, with this post, made me cry. I haven't been crying for ages! and now tears are falling on the keyboard. And it's all because I've become addicted to over-thinking. I'm only 19 but for so many years I have negative thoughts and beliefs, because of this I feel unhappy and miserable but I don't want to feel this way anymore. Not now, not ever!

    I want to thank You, VERY MUCH, because your words gave me hope and made me to start thinking but with positive attitude.
    It seems to me that I'll become a regular visitor at your blog 😉

    P.S. sorry for grammar mistakes, I'll improve my english to comment your post without theme 😉

    Take care, Dena 😉

  5. @Aneta – I can not begin to tell you how happy I am to read your comment. The purpose of Evolution is to help people and it seems that – through you – I have been a success.

    I am so proud of you for the steps that you are taking! I am honored that you will continue to visit. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you in your journey!

    Love & Light,
    Dena

  6. I must say, this was a very inspiration blog! It had soul and determination in it. I feel that over thinking takes a huge role in my everyday life and when i jus read this blog, it gave me a sigh of relief! I wish there was more blogs like this!!

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