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Stop Over-Thinking & Burn Your Ships!

 

“Sometimes the key to success is a situation where there’s no going back.” —Alex Shalman

One of Julius Caesar’s most famous victories occurred when he set fire to his own ships upon stepping onto enemy soil. Caesar and his men had no choice but to advance and to win. This action struck such great fear into the hearts of his enemies that victory was inevitable. What courage! I want to to teach you how you can stop over-thinking and start living your life today by burning your own ships!

I stress the power of thought on this blog all the time—especially the power of positive, rational thought—but today I am going to talk about another aspect of thought: over-thinking. Face it, there are things that you would love to do; but you can’t. Why not? Because you think too much.

How many times have you caught yourself saying or thinking:

Well, I would love to go there, but…

Well, I would love to try that, but…

Each of those statements is a fear-based thought and a product of over-thinking & over-analyzing. More importantly, each of those thoughts is unnecessary!

The Cycle
When you really boil it down, over-thinking is a defense mechanism. You are afraid to act, so you start to think. You think and think and think. You’ve been dreaming of taking a trip to Beijing for the last five years. You’ve looked at airfare, hotels, tourist destinations. You even bought an English/Chinese dictionary. But you have not booked your trip. In fact, you have not even thought about booking your trip because… Well, I would love to go there, but… I can’t take the time off of work. I really should wait until the economy improves. The dollar isn’t doing so well. Airport security is such a pain in the ass. I’m afraid of planes anyway. The timing isn’t right. There are a million reasons really. I would love to but…

That’s how it happens. You identify a goal. You start to think about it and then. Bam! The thoughts start. They begin to roll down the snow hill in your mind. And the further down it rolls, the faster it starts to spin. The faster is starts to spin, the more snow it picks up. And eventually, there is one giant snow ball siting at the foot of the hill completely frozen, stagnant. And it’s you—a big scared snowball.

“As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can.” —Julius Caesar

The equation is simple. You have a goal (China). You start to think about it. The negative thoughts start to pile up (money, work, security, etc.). Over-thinking = anxiety = inaction.

If you want to accomplish anything in your life, you’ve got to stop over-thinking. Whether you want to take a trip, ask for a raise, get out of an abusive relationship, or buy a new couch—you won’t do anything if you don’t stop over-thinking and start taking action!

Breaking the Cycle
1. Identify your goal.

2. Eliminate the fears and excuses surrounding your goal. The negative thoughts that pop into your mind are not valid reasons to give up on your goals. They are just fears (and most likely irrational fears).

“I can’t take time off of work.” Yes, you can. You have vacation time, use it. Why are you saving it, just to carry it over until next year? You could walk out of the office today and get hit by a bus! Even if you are a cocktail waitress and you don’t have vacation time, guess what? You can still take your vacation! Taking an epic journey is an invaluable life experience. You will gain insights that will help further you as an individual and as a professional. Work is an excuse based in fear.

“The economy sucks.” Congratulations! Yes, it does. What the hell does that have to do with you following your dreams? If you want it bad enough, you can (and will) find a way to make it happen. Pick up an extra shift, mow lawns, do some freelance work. Stop thinking and make it happen.

“Airport security is a pain in the ass and I’m afraid of flying.” This one is easy. Build a bridge and get over it! Stop making excuses, my friend. Life is too short.

3. Take action. Stop surfing the internet; put down the remote control; and make your reservations already! Look, you’ve been dreaming about this for so long, you are not going to regret it.

Begin Living Your Dreams Today
Over-thinking seems minor but it destroys lives. People literally waste their lives away thinking. People stay trapped at jobs they hate for decades. People stay trapped in unhealthy relationships for lifetimes. People fantasize of faraway places forever and never get there because they are too afraid to stop thinking and take action.

Each of us has the ability to make our lives exactly what we want it to be. Any cage that surrounds you is self-created. Any chains that weigh you down are self-created. Human beings have overcome incredible odds and done superhuman things. It happens every single day. You can be one of those people… or you can be one of the ones that wastes away in boredom out of fear.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” —Anthony Robbins

Stop wasting away. Make the choice to live the life of your dreams right now and don’t look back. What do you want? Write it down. Make it happen. Don’t waste another second. Stop thinking… just do it!

 

 

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 2: The Climb

    Emergency Fund

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I explained how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    1. Change the way you think about spending money. For most of my life, I believed that money was made to be spent. I believed that I *deserved* to spend every dollar that I earned on some material thing that would “make me happy.” I coveted material possessions—clothes, jewelry, electronics, cars. What I realize now is that money is not meant to be spent. You only need to earn enough money to survive. You should have enough money to buy only what you need. There is no need for excess.

    “You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fuc*ing khakis.” (Fight Club)

    This shift in mindset is hard to adjust to at first. You may not like the reactions that you receive from people. Believe me, I’ve been called cheap a few times, but I pay no mind to it. I would choose cheap over poor any day.

    2. Keep a budget. I highly recommend using Mint.com. I started using it in September and it has been one of the most transformational and useful tools throughout my journey to financial freedom. It allows you to sync up all of your accounts (loans, checking, savings, etc.) in one place. Then it keeps track of every transaction that you make and sorts/organizes all of the data for you. It allows you to track your spending over time and by category. It gives you incredible perspective and insight about where your money goes each month/year. It has been a truly eye-opening experience for me.

    If you’re unwilling to try Mint, you can keep a budget on a spread sheet or even by hand. However, the important thing is to be completely conscious about where every dollar you spend is going.

    3. Use a debit card. To reap the full Mint.com experience you should use a debit card for every purchase you make. Using the debit card will automatically flag each transaction you make into the appropriate category. So if you go to Shoprite, it will get marked as groceries. If you go to Home Depot it will get marked as home. If you stop at the gas station it will get marked as automobile, and so on.

    I use my debit card (linked to my checking account) for almost every single transaction that I make. I also have all of my monthly bills (like my auto insurance, utilities, and gym membership) automatically debited from the same checking account each month. It makes keeping track of my spending that much easier. Plus, I do not like dealing with cash. The debit card is quick, easy, and is accepted almost everywhere now.

    Whether or not you use Mint.com it is a good idea to use a debit card simply because you can review all of your purchases and purchase amounts on your monthly statement. Trying to keep track of receipts is a hassle that I don’t have time for.

    4. Pay off credit cards and cut them up. Paying off my credit cards was my first priority. For awhile I tried “credit card surfing.” Let me just tell you from experience, it’s overrated and it really doesn’t work. The idea is that you surf from credit card to credit card by transferring balances. A lot of companies will give you 0% APR for 6 months if you transfer your balances over to them. After the 6 months, you “surf” to a new card with another promotional rate.

    The problem with this tactic is that it gets messy quickly, it becomes difficult to keep up with, and if you lose track you will end up getting burned by high APRs, finance fees, cancellation fees, etc. Also, it probably doesn’t look great on your credit report if you’re opening up a new card every 6 months or so.

    It is much safer and wiser to just stop using credit cards! My theory is simple and has taken me very far: If you can not afford to buy it, then you can not afford it. Period. It is simple logic.

    5. Eat in. This is one of the easiest changes to make, but it also comes with an enormous, positive impact. When I started closely tracking my spending habits, I was shocked to see how much I was spending on eating out. A meal at a decent restaurant goes for about $25 per person. If you eat out twice a week, that is $3,120 a year. If you grab lunch out during the work week, it’s about $8 a day. That’s $2,080 a year. Put those together and you could be spending $5,200 a year or more on dining out! That is outrageous and completely unnecessary.

    Since I started eating in and packing lunches, I’ve taken my monthly food spending from $500 down to $200 or less! Over time, that means enormous savings. Check out 5dollardinners.com for some awesome, inexpensive recipes. I love it! Also, investing in a crock pot was one of the wisest decisions I ever made—chili, sausage & peppers, and goulash will be your new (delicious, cheap) best friends. (Here are some more tips for eating healthy & mindfully.)

    6. Direct deposit money into savings every month. This is my final—and perhaps most important—tip. When I began my journey to financial freedom, I opened a savings account with ING Direct. It is an easy-to-use online savings account and it gives you interest on the money that you save. It also allows you to set up easy direct deposits.

    I started out small, depositing $50 a month into my savings. As I learned to keep my budget tighter and tighter, I increased the amount that I put into my savings each month. Currently, I am putting away $500+ per month and hope to get closer to $1,000 per month in the very near future.

    When you direct deposit the funds, it comes out automatically. It is painless because you don’t have to do a thing. Because it’s automatic, after awhile you don’t even notice that it’s missing. (I remember reading that on another blog several months ago and thinking, “Are you out of your mind?! I’m not going to miss it? Yea right!”) But I can honestly say that after a few months, you adjust to the missing money. You truly do not miss it once it becomes normal for that amount to be deposited into savings automatically each month.

    It has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made and because I’ve worked so hard to get to this place—I don’t touch that money! I am keeping it there for a rainy day or to pay off my student loans someday in one fell swoop.

    ————————————————————————

    As I stated at the start of this post, three years ago I was almost $60,000 in debt; I was twenty-three years old; and I was scared to death. Today, I have my finances under control! I am on the road to financial freedom and you can get here, too. Truly, it is not as hard as it seems. With common sense and a bit of dedication, it will happen. Paying off my last credit card balance was like taking chains off of my wrists for the first time in seven years. The feeling was completely priceless. If I can do it, anybody can.

    So, what are your financial goals? Have you ever been in financial prison? How did you free yourself? If you’re still there, what are you going to do to break free?

6 Comments

  1. Too true, it'd be nice to be able to flick a switch to become care free!

    Step 3. Take Action! I know one day i'm just going to have to pack up, and do the move overseas! It's not going to get any easier.

    Dena your posts have been inline with exactly what I've been thinking lately! A bit scary…. 🙂

  2. I think the most important and missed step by many is that of not TAKING ACTION. I know that once I did in my life, everything I wanted became reality. The more I thought about doing something (like you said) the less it was likely to occur. I ahd to take action steps towards that goal.

    Great post!

    David Damron
    LifeExcursion

  3. @Andrew – I am glad that you can relate. I try to make the posts at Evolution relate-able. I feel like there are so many seemingly small things that are actually really large things preventing people from living their best lives! It is my mission to get them all out there on the table and to help people be their best selves. I'm like a rainbow on a mission to spread love and light all over the world. Haha!

    We are all connected by far deeper bonds than we can understand.

    @Dave – Thanks so much for your comment and for your thoughts. You are absolutely right. Even taking small steps toward the goal is better than sitting on the couch and "thinking" about it. Thank you for being an inspiration! 🙂

  4. Lately I haven't been feeling anything. Well, there was only irritation,frustration and thoughts like "geez, God seriously must hate me". And You, with this post, made me cry. I haven't been crying for ages! and now tears are falling on the keyboard. And it's all because I've become addicted to over-thinking. I'm only 19 but for so many years I have negative thoughts and beliefs, because of this I feel unhappy and miserable but I don't want to feel this way anymore. Not now, not ever!

    I want to thank You, VERY MUCH, because your words gave me hope and made me to start thinking but with positive attitude.
    It seems to me that I'll become a regular visitor at your blog 😉

    P.S. sorry for grammar mistakes, I'll improve my english to comment your post without theme 😉

    Take care, Dena 😉

  5. @Aneta – I can not begin to tell you how happy I am to read your comment. The purpose of Evolution is to help people and it seems that – through you – I have been a success.

    I am so proud of you for the steps that you are taking! I am honored that you will continue to visit. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you in your journey!

    Love & Light,
    Dena

  6. I must say, this was a very inspiration blog! It had soul and determination in it. I feel that over thinking takes a huge role in my everyday life and when i jus read this blog, it gave me a sigh of relief! I wish there was more blogs like this!!

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