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Stop Over-Thinking & Burn Your Ships!

 

“Sometimes the key to success is a situation where there’s no going back.” —Alex Shalman

One of Julius Caesar’s most famous victories occurred when he set fire to his own ships upon stepping onto enemy soil. Caesar and his men had no choice but to advance and to win. This action struck such great fear into the hearts of his enemies that victory was inevitable. What courage! I want to to teach you how you can stop over-thinking and start living your life today by burning your own ships!

I stress the power of thought on this blog all the time—especially the power of positive, rational thought—but today I am going to talk about another aspect of thought: over-thinking. Face it, there are things that you would love to do; but you can’t. Why not? Because you think too much.

How many times have you caught yourself saying or thinking:

Well, I would love to go there, but…

Well, I would love to try that, but…

Each of those statements is a fear-based thought and a product of over-thinking & over-analyzing. More importantly, each of those thoughts is unnecessary!

The Cycle
When you really boil it down, over-thinking is a defense mechanism. You are afraid to act, so you start to think. You think and think and think. You’ve been dreaming of taking a trip to Beijing for the last five years. You’ve looked at airfare, hotels, tourist destinations. You even bought an English/Chinese dictionary. But you have not booked your trip. In fact, you have not even thought about booking your trip because… Well, I would love to go there, but… I can’t take the time off of work. I really should wait until the economy improves. The dollar isn’t doing so well. Airport security is such a pain in the ass. I’m afraid of planes anyway. The timing isn’t right. There are a million reasons really. I would love to but…

That’s how it happens. You identify a goal. You start to think about it and then. Bam! The thoughts start. They begin to roll down the snow hill in your mind. And the further down it rolls, the faster it starts to spin. The faster is starts to spin, the more snow it picks up. And eventually, there is one giant snow ball siting at the foot of the hill completely frozen, stagnant. And it’s you—a big scared snowball.

“As a rule, men worry more about what they can’t see than about what they can.” —Julius Caesar

The equation is simple. You have a goal (China). You start to think about it. The negative thoughts start to pile up (money, work, security, etc.). Over-thinking = anxiety = inaction.

If you want to accomplish anything in your life, you’ve got to stop over-thinking. Whether you want to take a trip, ask for a raise, get out of an abusive relationship, or buy a new couch—you won’t do anything if you don’t stop over-thinking and start taking action!

Breaking the Cycle
1. Identify your goal.

2. Eliminate the fears and excuses surrounding your goal. The negative thoughts that pop into your mind are not valid reasons to give up on your goals. They are just fears (and most likely irrational fears).

“I can’t take time off of work.” Yes, you can. You have vacation time, use it. Why are you saving it, just to carry it over until next year? You could walk out of the office today and get hit by a bus! Even if you are a cocktail waitress and you don’t have vacation time, guess what? You can still take your vacation! Taking an epic journey is an invaluable life experience. You will gain insights that will help further you as an individual and as a professional. Work is an excuse based in fear.

“The economy sucks.” Congratulations! Yes, it does. What the hell does that have to do with you following your dreams? If you want it bad enough, you can (and will) find a way to make it happen. Pick up an extra shift, mow lawns, do some freelance work. Stop thinking and make it happen.

“Airport security is a pain in the ass and I’m afraid of flying.” This one is easy. Build a bridge and get over it! Stop making excuses, my friend. Life is too short.

3. Take action. Stop surfing the internet; put down the remote control; and make your reservations already! Look, you’ve been dreaming about this for so long, you are not going to regret it.

Begin Living Your Dreams Today
Over-thinking seems minor but it destroys lives. People literally waste their lives away thinking. People stay trapped at jobs they hate for decades. People stay trapped in unhealthy relationships for lifetimes. People fantasize of faraway places forever and never get there because they are too afraid to stop thinking and take action.

Each of us has the ability to make our lives exactly what we want it to be. Any cage that surrounds you is self-created. Any chains that weigh you down are self-created. Human beings have overcome incredible odds and done superhuman things. It happens every single day. You can be one of those people… or you can be one of the ones that wastes away in boredom out of fear.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” —Anthony Robbins

Stop wasting away. Make the choice to live the life of your dreams right now and don’t look back. What do you want? Write it down. Make it happen. Don’t waste another second. Stop thinking… just do it!

 

 

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

6 Comments

  1. Too true, it'd be nice to be able to flick a switch to become care free!

    Step 3. Take Action! I know one day i'm just going to have to pack up, and do the move overseas! It's not going to get any easier.

    Dena your posts have been inline with exactly what I've been thinking lately! A bit scary…. 🙂

  2. I think the most important and missed step by many is that of not TAKING ACTION. I know that once I did in my life, everything I wanted became reality. The more I thought about doing something (like you said) the less it was likely to occur. I ahd to take action steps towards that goal.

    Great post!

    David Damron
    LifeExcursion

  3. @Andrew – I am glad that you can relate. I try to make the posts at Evolution relate-able. I feel like there are so many seemingly small things that are actually really large things preventing people from living their best lives! It is my mission to get them all out there on the table and to help people be their best selves. I'm like a rainbow on a mission to spread love and light all over the world. Haha!

    We are all connected by far deeper bonds than we can understand.

    @Dave – Thanks so much for your comment and for your thoughts. You are absolutely right. Even taking small steps toward the goal is better than sitting on the couch and "thinking" about it. Thank you for being an inspiration! 🙂

  4. Lately I haven't been feeling anything. Well, there was only irritation,frustration and thoughts like "geez, God seriously must hate me". And You, with this post, made me cry. I haven't been crying for ages! and now tears are falling on the keyboard. And it's all because I've become addicted to over-thinking. I'm only 19 but for so many years I have negative thoughts and beliefs, because of this I feel unhappy and miserable but I don't want to feel this way anymore. Not now, not ever!

    I want to thank You, VERY MUCH, because your words gave me hope and made me to start thinking but with positive attitude.
    It seems to me that I'll become a regular visitor at your blog 😉

    P.S. sorry for grammar mistakes, I'll improve my english to comment your post without theme 😉

    Take care, Dena 😉

  5. @Aneta – I can not begin to tell you how happy I am to read your comment. The purpose of Evolution is to help people and it seems that – through you – I have been a success.

    I am so proud of you for the steps that you are taking! I am honored that you will continue to visit. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you in your journey!

    Love & Light,
    Dena

  6. I must say, this was a very inspiration blog! It had soul and determination in it. I feel that over thinking takes a huge role in my everyday life and when i jus read this blog, it gave me a sigh of relief! I wish there was more blogs like this!!

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