Do Not Seek Happiness, Live It

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” -Ghandi

You can spend your entire life searching for happiness, but you will never find it. You can search for the “right” house, car, clothing, jewelry, job, and mate but still you will not find happiness. The only path to happiness is to live a good life. When you learn to align your thoughts with your words and your words with your actions, that will lead to happiness, no searching necessary.

Think
Your mind is home to your thoughts. Your mind is the single most powerful force in your life. You alone have the power to choose, will you be happy or miserable? That thought, that choice, will drive the path of your life. Everything that happens to you will be a direct result of your choice, happiness or misery.

Many people choose happiness but they forget to live consciously. When you do not live consciously, you go into autopilot. You make conscious choices but then as you go about your days, you forget those choices. You let external factors drive your life, you forget to live your thoughts. You get sidetracked, frustrated, negative, and irrational. The perception that you have in your mind of what your life is (happiness) does not match with the reality of your life (misery). Therefore the thought, or the choice for happiness, is not enough on its own. It must be accompanied by both words and actions.

Speak
Many peoples’ perceptions of themselves are not aligned with reality. Just because they think up the life that they want to live does not mean that they actually live it. Just because you perceive yourself as being a certain kind of person, does not actually mean that you are that kind of person. If the things that you say do not match up with your thoughts, your vision is unreal.

A large part of living happiness is recognizing the difference between perception and reality. It takes practice.

People do judge you based on the things that you say, both verbally and non-verbally. If you wake up every morning and choose happiness and positivity, that is great. However, if you go into work every day and gossip with friends about other coworkers, your thoughts are clearly misaligned with your words. To choose happiness and positivity is not enough on its own. Your words must also reflect happiness and positivity. You must speak kindly of others. Every aspect of your communication should reflect your thoughts – love, smiles, kindness, compliments, wisdom.

Every time that you speak or communicate, be conscious and aware. Think before you speak. Ask yourself, will these words be aligned with my thoughts and with the vision that I have of myself?

Act
The final leg of this journey is action. Your thoughts are aligned with your words. You are thinking and speaking happiness, love, light. Now, take control of your actions. Visualize your goals, your life of happiness, your perception of you. What things does this person do? Maybe she volunteers, maybe she reaches out to loved ones often, maybe she creates beautiful art, maybe she trains her body to be its best. Visualize your happiness and make it happen. Write down your goals and then write down the steps that you must take to reach them. Make sure that everything that you do takes you one step closer to living a life of bliss. Each step that you take should be aligned with your thoughts of happiness and positivity. When you go out with friends, when you walk the dog, when you watch a movie – practice awareness. Learn from each action, sharpen yourself. Become more and more aligned each day. When you stumble and do something completely misaligned with your vision, forgive yourself.

“When running up a hill, it is alright to give up as many times as you wish – as long as your feet keep moving.” —Shoma Morita

When you falter, allow yourself to fall. And then, get back up — every single time. Believe that you can do this. Know that you have the power to accomplish anything. Know that the Universe is on your side and you can do it. Practice visualization. See yourself succeeding and then succeed.

“When you really want something to happen, the whole Universe conspires that your wish comes true.” —Paulo Coelho

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

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