I will write a full post about Day 4 in Paris, but I am writing a separate post about my experience in the Catacombs of Paris for two reasons. First, the fourth day of my trip was full & bursting at the seams. And second, my experience in the catacombs was so important & intense that it needs its own post to do it justice.
The Catacombs of Paris is an elaborate underground tunnel system that houses the skeletal remains of over 1.6 million people. These “burial grounds” exist in what used to be the Paris stone mines. This unique combination makes the catacombs like a cross between an underground mining system and a sacred tomb of epic proportion.
Sculptures at the front of the caverns
History
During the 17th and 18th centuries, Paris had a problem with burying the dead. There simply was not enough room. All of the allotted burial grounds were overflowing. In some areas, the Earth was filled beyond saturation with decomposing human remains. The situation was unsanitary.
Then, in 1786, a police lieutenant overseeing the renovation of the Paris stone mines, had the idea to use the empty underground tunnels to house the bones. On April 7th of that year, the ceremonial procedure of exhuming bodies and transporting them into the catacombs began. Chanting priests in a parade of black-covered bone-laden horse-drawn wagons led the procession from the overflowing cemeteries and into the caverns. The process continued for several years.
Entire walls of bones
Description
The Catacombs entry is in the western pavilion of Paris’ former Barrière d’Enfer city gate. To enter the catacombs, you descend 63 feet into the Earth, down a narrow spiral staircase. Once in the catacombs there is sheer silence save for the occasional drip of water or the gurgling of a hidden aqueduct beneath the dirt. You pass through twisted hallways of dirt and caverns before coming to the walls of carefully arranged bones. Some of the arrangements are almost artistic in nature, such as a heart-shaped outline in one wall formed with skulls embedded in surrounding tibias; another is a round room whose central pillar is also a carefully created ‘keg’ bone arrangement.
My Experience
Exploring the Catacombs of Paris is a mind-altering experience. It is not for the faint of heart and it is highly unlikely that any true claustrophobic would make it out alive. Still, for me it was an experience that I will never forget. I challenged myself to stare fear in the face and press forward in spite of it.
What follows are the notes that I jotted down in my Moleskine shortly after my journey through the catacombs:
The only thing I can say with complete certainty regarding the catacombs is that every person should experience at least once.
You descend the spiral stairs into the very depths of the Earth & begin to traverse the caverns where you find the skeletal remains of over 1.6 million people lining the walls. You are overcome with every emotion possible: I am deep in the Earth. Paris can come collapsing down on me in an instant—a mouthful of dirt, collapsing of the lungs, suffocation, immediate paralysis. And that would be the end.
Then of course there are the walls, literal walls of skulls & bones. And you just keep walking & when you think there is just no way it can keep going on this way—it goes on. Then finally after some moments that feel like hours & other moments that feel like lifetimes, you know you have come to the end. And there is a second spiral staircase. And you ascend, and you keep going up & up & up. This really feels like lifetimes. Because you are alone and there is no voice, no one beside you.
You think, for sure, the Earth & light should be visible by now. But it’s not, so you just keep going up. Your legs scream & your lungs sob, but you have no choice but to keep ascending. And you think—this is hell. Now I know what hell is. Keep moving & never getting anywhere. Alone, forever.
Nearing the end...?
But then! There is light & you’ve made it. It was never hell but some twisted, beautiful version of heaven meant to teach you what you thought was impossible to ever know.
There were only two workers in the catacombs—one at the entrance and the other in the caverns. The second one approached me and asked if I was alone. Yes, I replied. (What choice did I have? It was perfectly obvious.) He looked shocked. I have never seen a woman come through alone. Men, yes. Groups, yes. But never a woman alone.
I am not sure if he was serious or simply trying to boost my ego. Still the experience was somewhat terrifying at moments. I find that sometimes I push myself toward terror. I can’t stop. This is my life. It is the only way. I have not gone far enough.
Of course this post is about the Catacombs of Paris—an adventure that I would highly recommend if you ever find yourself in Paris—but it is also about courage. Visiting the catacombs was a small metaphor for my entire trip to Paris. I was afraid to visit a foreign country alone—in fact, I was terrified. It was not easy to venture across the Atlantic to a place where I could not even speak the language—but I did it.
Likewise, the catacombs were frightening. As I stood at the entrance about to purchase my ticket, I thought about turning back. But that feeling only lasted for a millisecond. No way, I assured myself, You have come this far. You are the bravest girl in the world.
And that is the truth—the very core—of what I am getting at. I am the bravest girl in the world… and so are you. We are all far braver than we can even imagine. Sometimes we have to push ourselves far outside of our comfort zones to realize the depth of our bravery; but when we do it, we are amazed.
Thank you for reading. Leave me a comment and tell me about the scariest thing you’ve ever done. I would love to hear about it!
Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.
Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.
In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).
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A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.
There are two primary types of financial prisoners:
1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.
2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.
Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.
Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.
My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.
On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?
It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.
When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?
So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.
All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?
All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.
I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.
The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.
I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.
Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.
Stay close to nature’s heart, and break clear away once in awhile, and climb a mountain, or spend a week…
11 Comments
Bravo! I don’t know if I could’ve done this one, but I will put it on my list for next time and try.
The scariest thing I’ve ever done is climb a mountain. I’m very fearful of heights, but I like to hike. Over a couple of years, I had numerous meltdowns to get to the place where I can do lots of difficult hikes without fear. I still get queasy sometimes, but I can handle it.
@ Andra – I think that if you are with a companion it will be a lot easier. The hardest part of the journey for me was being alone. One of my greatest fears is losing my mind. And there were moments down there when it was like–“Is this really happening?” That scares the hell out of me. Even just the voice of another person helps in those scenarios.
Anyway, wow, mountain climbing! That is so amazing, especially considering your fear of heights. You are such an inspiration. It is so fantastic to hear that despite the obstacles — especially the queasiness — you push on.
@ Alison – Thank you so much for your kind words and I am SO jealous that you are headed to Paris. It is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever visited! You are going to have an amazing time. Please let me know if you have any questions. You can always email me denabotbyl (@) gmail (.) com or get me on Twitter or Facebook. XO
Bravo! I don’t know if I could’ve done this one, but I will put it on my list for next time and try.
The scariest thing I’ve ever done is climb a mountain. I’m very fearful of heights, but I like to hike. Over a couple of years, I had numerous meltdowns to get to the place where I can do lots of difficult hikes without fear. I still get queasy sometimes, but I can handle it.
@ Andra – I think that if you are with a companion it will be a lot easier. The hardest part of the journey for me was being alone. One of my greatest fears is losing my mind. And there were moments down there when it was like–“Is this really happening?” That scares the hell out of me. Even just the voice of another person helps in those scenarios.
Anyway, wow, mountain climbing! That is so amazing, especially considering your fear of heights. You are such an inspiration. It is so fantastic to hear that despite the obstacles — especially the queasiness — you push on.
Thank you for sharing, love.
Dena,
I’m headed to Paris in 3 weeks and Andra sent me to your blog. I feel like I am in the Catacombs with me. Excellent writing!
oops…I meant I felt like I was with YOU.
@ Alison – Thank you so much for your kind words and I am SO jealous that you are headed to Paris. It is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever visited! You are going to have an amazing time. Please let me know if you have any questions. You can always email me denabotbyl (@) gmail (.) com or get me on Twitter or Facebook. XO
wow that is wild ! thanks for posting this
thank you for checking it out!