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The Catacombs of Paris

I will write a full post about Day 4 in Paris, but I am writing a separate post about my experience in the Catacombs of Paris for two reasons. First, the fourth day of my trip was full & bursting at the seams. And second, my experience in the catacombs was so important & intense that it needs its own post to do it justice.

The Catacombs of Paris is an elaborate underground tunnel system that houses the skeletal remains of over 1.6 million people. These “burial grounds” exist in what used to be the Paris stone mines. This unique combination makes the catacombs like a cross between an underground mining system and a sacred tomb of epic proportion.

Sculptures at the front of the caverns

History

During the 17th and 18th centuries, Paris had a problem with burying the dead. There simply was not enough room. All of the allotted burial grounds were overflowing. In some areas, the Earth was filled beyond saturation with decomposing human remains. The situation was unsanitary.

Then, in 1786, a police lieutenant overseeing the renovation of the Paris stone mines, had the idea to use the empty underground tunnels to house the bones. On April 7th of that year, the ceremonial procedure of exhuming bodies and transporting them into the catacombs began. Chanting priests in a parade of black-covered bone-laden horse-drawn wagons led the procession from the overflowing cemeteries and into the caverns. The process continued for several years.

Entire walls of bones

Description

The Catacombs entry is in the western pavilion of Paris’ former Barrière d’Enfer city gate. To enter the catacombs, you descend 63 feet into the Earth, down a narrow spiral staircase. Once in the catacombs there is sheer silence save for the occasional drip of water or the gurgling of a hidden aqueduct beneath the dirt. You pass through twisted hallways of dirt and caverns before coming to the walls of carefully arranged bones. Some of the arrangements are almost artistic in nature, such as a heart-shaped outline in one wall formed with skulls embedded in surrounding tibias; another is a round room whose central pillar is also a carefully created ‘keg’ bone arrangement.

My Experience

Exploring the Catacombs of Paris is a mind-altering experience. It is not for the faint of heart and it is highly unlikely that any true claustrophobic would make it out alive. Still, for me it was an experience that I will never forget. I challenged myself to stare fear in the face and press forward in spite of it.

What follows are the notes that I jotted down in my Moleskine shortly after my journey through the catacombs:

The only thing I can say with complete certainty regarding the catacombs is that every person should experience at least once.

You descend the spiral stairs into the very depths of the Earth & begin to traverse the caverns where you find the skeletal remains of over 1.6 million people lining the walls. You are overcome with every emotion possible: I am deep in the Earth. Paris can come collapsing down on me in an instant—a mouthful of dirt, collapsing of the lungs, suffocation, immediate paralysis. And that would be the end.

Then of course there are the walls, literal walls of skulls & bones. And you just keep walking & when you think there is just no way it can keep going on this way—it goes on. Then finally after some moments that feel like hours & other moments that feel like lifetimes, you know you have come to the end. And there is a second spiral staircase. And you ascend, and you keep going up & up & up. This really feels like lifetimes. Because you are alone and there is no voice, no one beside you.

You think, for sure, the Earth & light should be visible by now. But it’s not, so you just keep going up. Your legs scream & your lungs sob, but you have no choice but to keep ascending. And you think—this is hell. Now I know what hell is. Keep moving & never getting anywhere. Alone, forever.

Nearing the end...?

But then! There is light & you’ve made it. It was never hell but some twisted, beautiful version of heaven meant to teach you what you thought was impossible to ever know.

There were only two workers in the catacombs—one at the entrance and the other in the caverns. The second one approached me and asked if I was alone. Yes, I replied. (What choice did I have? It was perfectly obvious.) He looked shocked. I have never seen a woman come through alone. Men, yes. Groups, yes. But never a woman alone.

I am not sure if he was serious or simply trying to boost my ego. Still the experience was somewhat terrifying at moments. I find that sometimes I push myself toward terror. I can’t stop. This is my life. It is the only way. I have not gone far enough.

Of course this post is about the Catacombs of Paris—an adventure that I would highly recommend if you ever find yourself in Paris—but it is also about courage. Visiting the catacombs was a small metaphor for my entire trip to Paris. I was afraid to visit a foreign country alone—in fact, I was terrified. It was not easy to venture across the Atlantic to a place where I could not even speak the language—but I did it.

Likewise, the catacombs were frightening. As I stood at the entrance about to purchase my ticket, I thought about turning back. But that feeling only lasted for a millisecond. No way, I assured myself, You have come this far. You are the bravest girl in the world.

And that is the truth—the very core—of what I am getting at. I am the bravest girl in the world… and so are you. We are all far braver than we can even imagine. Sometimes we have to push ourselves far outside of our comfort zones to realize the depth of our bravery; but when we do it, we are amazed.

Thank you for reading. Leave me a comment and tell me about the scariest thing you’ve ever done. I would love to hear about it!

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    Letting Go of the Past: Forgiveness

    Last week, I finished listening to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. It had been on my “to-read” list for years, when by a stroke of fate a dear friend offered to lend me her audio copy. I plan to do a full review of the book in the coming weeks but for now I want to focus on one important element—forgiveness of the past.

    Recently I started thinking about the first twenty-five years of my life. In The Power of Now, we learn that to live in the future or the past is to suffer. The only way to exist in true harmony is to live in the now. After all, the past is not real, the future is not real. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The only thing that is truly and completely real, is the now.

    The challenge with this, however, is that until we can accept, understand, and move on from the conditioning of the past, we can not experience true freedom. And in order to truly accomplish this, we must experience true forgiveness of the past—forgiving others & ourselves completely.

    As I reflected upon these truths, I realized that I have been holding on to a tremendous amount of pain from my own personal history. There is so much past that continues to haunt me and impact me in the now. One of the greatest sources of pain revolves around my former lifestyle.

    I spent so much of my life caught up in a false sense of self. I spent incredible amounts of money on material possessions that I now perceive as worthless (clothes, jewelry, useless electronics, etc.) For some reason, I fell into the marketing. I bought it—all of it. (You can read more about my journey into financial prison and my subsequent journey out in previous posts.)

    But that’s not really the point, the point is that I ended up here. I can sit around and feel sorry for myself, angry that so much of my life was wasted, frustrated that I’ve only paid off a fraction (albeit a substantial fraction) of my debts so far; but if I did all of that where would it get me? It wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe on a private jet to my own personal pity party. No thank you.

    Instead of wallowing, I am grateful. Grateful that I have come this far. Grateful that I’ have learned these lessons and changed the direction of my life by the age of 25 (soon-to-be 26). Grateful to be surrounded by a community of people that support me and believe in me. Grateful to have discovered my life’s true purpose and passion. Grateful to be doing what I love (even if only part of the time). Grateful to be safe, secure, healthy, strong, and beautiful.

    As I move through these emotions of gratitude for what I have now and what I am now, I find that the pain of my history slips away. I believe that I am finally on a path toward true forgiveness of the past. The reality is that it happened. I made mistakes, like all fallible human beings do. However, without making those mistakes, I may never have come to this place, to this now.

    The past grants us wisdom & grace. The memories that haunt us the most, are usually the memories that taught us the greatest lessons. Forgiveness will come from acceptance. So, the trick to true forgiveness is true acceptance. Once we can accept our past unconditionally, we can live fully in the now.

    I am making my way on this journey slowly. For most of my life, I focused almost entirely on the past—heart breaks, mistakes, errors in judgment, loss, failures, and so on—but that was a tragic mistake. What I now know is that the past is gone, the only thing that matters is now. And likewise, the future is a distant place that exists only in my mind. The only thing that matters is right now.

    Transforming the way that I think has been a challenging process, but I have come a tremendous distance already and I will keep on pushing forward, always.

    Now I ask you, reader, what pieces of your past are you holding on to? Are you willing to accept those pieces unconditionally so that you may truly forgive and live in harmony & light? Will you join me on this journey?

11 Comments

  1. Bravo! I don’t know if I could’ve done this one, but I will put it on my list for next time and try.

    The scariest thing I’ve ever done is climb a mountain. I’m very fearful of heights, but I like to hike. Over a couple of years, I had numerous meltdowns to get to the place where I can do lots of difficult hikes without fear. I still get queasy sometimes, but I can handle it.

    1. @ Andra – I think that if you are with a companion it will be a lot easier. The hardest part of the journey for me was being alone. One of my greatest fears is losing my mind. And there were moments down there when it was like–“Is this really happening?” That scares the hell out of me. Even just the voice of another person helps in those scenarios.

      Anyway, wow, mountain climbing! That is so amazing, especially considering your fear of heights. You are such an inspiration. It is so fantastic to hear that despite the obstacles — especially the queasiness — you push on.

      Thank you for sharing, love.

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  5. Dena,
    I’m headed to Paris in 3 weeks and Andra sent me to your blog. I feel like I am in the Catacombs with me. Excellent writing!

    1. @ Alison – Thank you so much for your kind words and I am SO jealous that you are headed to Paris. It is one of the most gorgeous places I have ever visited! You are going to have an amazing time. Please let me know if you have any questions. You can always email me denabotbyl (@) gmail (.) com or get me on Twitter or Facebook. XO

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