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My Good, Little Sleeper

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My good, little sleeper. Oh, how I have desperately waited & wished to be able to say those words. As I was suffering through the throes of new motherhood, a lot of the advice that I received was along the lines of, “One day it will just get better.” And as ambiguous as the advice was, it gave me comfort. I held fast to the hope that one day it would just get better. I remember a very specific conversation with a friend in which she was empathizing with me over the initial pain of breastfeeding. She said, “One day it will just stop hurting.” She was right.

The “suffering” that lasted the longest for us was surely the lack of sleep. Sleep has always been a critical part of my ability to function. I know that a lot of people can go without sleep or run happily on just a few hours. In fact, my own father cannot sleep more than five hours a night. If he gets too much sleep, it makes him feel poorly. (I can’t even imagine that!?!?) But I’ve never been one of those people. Without sleep, my brain shuts down. I experience sharp, physical symptoms — dark, haze blurs my vision; I develop swollen glands; and my depression flares up intensely. That said, lack of sleep is simply a reality of new motherhood. You grin and bear it. For me, the fact that Roman James was the sweetest, most angelic baby for most of his waking hours made it easier to push through. I always knew that one day it would get better. And recently, it did.

To get a good night’s sleep, you always need a comfortable bed. A comfortable bed is always welcoming and makes you fresh when you awake in the morning. This applies to your child, as well. In fact, you have two reasons to choose a good crib mattress. One is to give your child the right level of comfort as the way you expect in your bed, and the other is a good night’s sleep.

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

We’ve got a nap time routine. I pop Roman in his swing; cover him with his blankie; give him three toys (a green link, a red crab, & a board book); turn his swing & white noise on; and leave the room. It’s like magic. He plays for a little while and then falls asleep. So many mamas and sleep books told me about the importance of routine, but it just never worked for us. I don’t know if I wasn’t consistent enough or he wasn’t ready; but my goodness! All that I can say now is that when it works, it really works! We’re working on a bedtime routine now, too. We still get a few tears at bedtime and he still occasionally wakes up once or twice in the night. However, most nights he sleeps straight through — and this week he has slept until 7 am twice! After waking up no later than 4:30 am for six months, I truly never thought that I would sleep until 7 again. I cannot tell you how overjoyed & grateful I am about this.

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

It’s easy to spend a lot of time complaining about things like no sleep, no free time, etc. but it’s so important to count victories, too. My good, little sleeper is definitely a victory for me.

P.S. How cute is it that he sleeps with his hands behind his head like that? He’s been doing it since he was born! Also notice the link in his left hand. 😉 Amen for sleep! xo

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

10 Comments

  1. These are such darling photos you will cherish forever! If one thing is for certain, change is inevitable. These babies sleep habits change and change and change and we are constantly adjusting to the new normal. 🙂 I’m happy to hear you have a good routine going!

    1. Right!? He sleeps like such a boss — the position and the hours. I really hope this keeps up and that it’s not a fluke. It’s Christmas-come-early ’round here. =D

  2. We’re working on the same thing in our house! It’s harder to have a routine with the third, than it was with the first two. Always so much going on! Luckily my Plan B (baby carrier) always works 🙂

    1. I wish Roman would have taken to a carrier. I tried so much in the beginning & he hated it. He’ll get in for playtime, hikes, out and about. But he refuses to nap in one! So glad it’s a great option for you, especially with three!! Ahhh. 😉

  3. Thank you for posting about sleep! Jack is 8 weeks and the sleep is just getting worse with 30 min catnaps and I’m at my wits end. Everyone says it will get better but I, like you, NEED my sleep so am anxiously awaiting this day.

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