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our first week together

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

livelovesimple.com

Life with a newborn is hard. There is no other way to put it. You go into it expecting the lack of sleep, long nights, hard days, crying, dirty diapers, and the lot — but you can’t prepare yourself for what it will really mean; for how your life will really change.

The hardest part for me has been the loneliness. For the past month, Matthew has been working 14-hour days. He leaves the house at 5 am and doesn’t get home until 7:30 pm. It is so lonely here without him. He took off of work for the week after the baby was born, but he’s gone back now and his absence hurts so much. I miss him all day. It was so nice to have him here, to help with little things, even just to hold the baby for a few minutes so that I could go to the bathroom. But now, I am alone, and I’ve had to learn how to do everything on my own. Practically, it is a challenge — but the emotional aspect of it is what bothers me more.

We’ve had lots of offers for visitors but we are keeping a relative quarantine around here until Roman’s two-week checkup. Immediate family have all been around to meet him, but beyond that we’re waiting to plan visits. There has been a nasty stomach virus going around and even a fever in an infant requires a minimum two-day hospital stay. Although we had an amazing hospital experience — we’re not in a rush to go back anytime soon!

Once two weeks passes and we’re out in the world, I am sure that the loneliness will lessen. Right now we’re just going through a little bit of cabin fever around here.

The two other “hardest parts” are (not) sleeping and breastfeeding which are kind of tied together. The great news is that he took to breastfeeding immediately and — knock on wood — we haven’t had any issues there. He loves to eat. In fact, he would eat all day if I let him. I’ve jokingly told Matthew that I have the cure to all of our problems: Just duck tape the baby across my chest and let him stay there, boob at his disposal all day. He would love it! Joking aside though, breastfeeding is the most physically and emotionally demanding thing that I have ever done. The baby needs to eat every two hours, give or take. That is around the clock, twenty-four seven. My life is a series of feedings, one after another. It’s almost as though that’s all there is. Everything else has fallen away. I am nothing except a pair of breasts and a fountain of milk for my newborn boy. And believe it or not, in some ways, it’s wonderful. I am so grateful to be so close to him, to have formed this bond, to be nourishing him with my body. It so beautiful and rewarding. But on the other hand, it is utterly exhausting. Every muscle in my body hurts from the weird feeding position that we find ourselves in at three o’clock in the morning and let’s not even talk about how my nipples feel right now! (And I thought labor was painful…) 😉

He hasn’t been sleeping on his own. He screams and screams when we put him down, so I end up holding him through the night. I’ve read about ten thousand pieces of advice on the issue of sleep and I don’t need anymore. We just have to work through it. That’s all. We make tiny, baby steps every day and I know that none of this is forever. Everything will change with time and as difficult as these first weeks may be — I still cherish every moment.

For now, he is the center of my universe and I am the center of his. We are everything to one another — and as hard as that can be — it is also the most beautiful & wonderful gift. It will not always be this way. There will come a day where I will wish so desperately to have this closeness back. So I do not take a moment of it for granted. The pain, the exhaustion, the loneliness — all of that will pass. For now it’s all about eating, sleeping, crying, dirty diapers, and the most precious little baby boy faces I could ever imagine.

I love being a mommy.

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    3 Simple Changes That Will Save Your Life

    This post could save your life. These 3 simple lifestyle changes saved mine. Today I am going to simply share facts with you. These facts (if you let them) will dramatically improve your quality of life. Making these changes can even increase your life span.

    1. Stop Smoking

    FACTS: According to the American Heart Association, cigarette smoking is the most important preventable cause of premature death in the United States, accounting for 440,000 of the more than 2.4 million annual deaths.

    Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer. In fact, smoking tobacco is the major risk factor for lung cancer. In the United States, about 90% of lung cancer deaths in men and almost 80% of lung cancer deaths in women are due to smoking. People who smoke are 10 to 20 times more likely to get lung cancer or die from lung cancer than people who do not smoke. The longer a person smokes and the more cigarettes smoked each day, the more risk goes up.

    Smoking also causes cancer of the voice box (larynx), mouth and throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, cervix, and stomach, and causes acute myeloid leukemia. Source.

    FACTS: One year after passing smoking bans, communities in North America and Europe had 17 percent fewer heart attacks compared to communities without smoking restrictions, and the number of heart attacks kept decreasing with time, according to a report in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association. Source.

    FACTS: If you quit smoking, you will:

    1. Prolong your life. According to the American Heart Association, smokers who quit between ages 35-39 add an average of 6-9 years to their lives. Smokers who quit between ages 65-69 increase their life expectancy by 1 – 4 years.

    2. Reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease. Quitting smoking reduces the risk of repeat heart attacks and death from heart disease by 50 percent or more. Quitting smoking also reduces your risk of high blood pressure, peripheral artery disease and stroke.

    3. Reduce your risk of developing a variety of other conditions including diabetes, lung cancer, throat cancer, emphysema, chronic bronchitis, chronic asthma, ulcers, gum disease and many other conditions.

    4. Feel healthier. After quitting, you won’t cough as much, have as many sore throats and you will increase your energy.

    5. Look and feel better. Quitting can help you prevent face wrinkles, get rid of stained teeth, improve your skin and even get rid of the stale smell in your clothes and hair.

    6. Improve your sense of taste and smell.

    7. Save money. Source.

    FACTS: What Happens When You Quit:

    After 20 minutes
    o You stop polluting the air
    o Your blood pressure and pulse decrease
    o The temperature of your hands and feet increases

    After 8 hours
    o The carbon monoxide level in your blood returns to normal
    o Oxygen levels in your blood increase

    After 24 hours
    o Your risk of heart attack decreases

    After 48 hours
    o Nerve endings adjust to the absence of nicotine
    o Your ability to taste and smell begin to return

    After 2 weeks to 3 months
    o Your circulation improves
    o Your exercise tolerance improves

    After 1 – 9 months
    o Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue and shortness of breath decrease
    o Your overall energy level increases

    After 1 year
    o Your risk of heart disease decreases to half that of a current smoker

    After 5 – 15 years
    o Your risk of stroke is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    After 10 years
    o Your risk of dying from lung cancer drops to almost the same rate as a lifelong non- smoker
    o You decrease the incidence of other cancers — of the mouth, larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney and pancreas

    After 15 years
    o Your risk of heart disease is reduced to that of people who have never smoked

    If you smoke again (called a relapse) do not lose hope. Seventy-five percent of those who quit relapse. Most smokers quit three times before they are successful. If you relapse, don’t give up! Review the reasons why you wanted to become a nonsmoker. Plan ahead and think about what you will do next time you get the urge to smoke. Source.

    2. Maintain a Healthy Body Weight

    QUESTION: How many people get cancer by being overweight or obese? How many die?

    FACTS: In 2002, about 41,000 new cases of cancer in the United States were estimated to be due to obesity. This means that about 3.2 percent of all new cancers are linked to obesity.

    A recent report estimated that, in the United States, 14 percent of deaths from cancer in men and 20 percent of deaths in women were due to overweight and obesity.

    Colon cancer occurs more frequently in people who are obese than in those of a healthy weight. An increased risk of colon cancer has been consistently reported for men with high BMIs.
    Source.

    FACTS: Research has shown that as weight increases to reach the levels referred to as “overweight” and “obesity,” the risks for the following conditions also increases:

    * Coronary heart disease
    * Type 2 diabetes
    * Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
    * Hypertension (high blood pressure)
    * Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
    * Stroke
    * Liver and Gallbladder disease
    * Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
    * Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
    * Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility) Source.

    3. Eat Whole Foods, Not Processed

    FACTS: The statistics are alarming:

    – One in three people will get cancer at some time in their life

    – Heart disease is the leading cause of death

    – Poor nutrition and physical inactivity together are the second
    actual cause of preventable death in the United States

    On the other hand new evidence shows that:

    – Eating five or more fruits and vegetables per day cuts cancer
    risk in half

    – People who eat more fruits and vegetables have a 30% lower risk
    of premature heart attack than people who eat a few

    – About 25% fewer strokes are projected for adults who eat 8 or
    more servings of fruits and vegetables per day

    – Fruits and vegetables may help keep blood sugar down and control diabetes.” Source.

    FACTS: Processed meat consumption results in 67% increase in pancreatic cancer risk.
    Source.

    FACTS: Inorganic phosphates are found in a variety of processed foods, including meats, cheeses, beverages and bakery products. They are added to increase water retention and improve food texture. Studies suggests a diet high in inorganic phosphates could speed growth of cancerous tumors and contribute to the development of tumors in those predisposed to the disease. Source.

    FACTS: Carcinogens in foods that may be naturally-occurring, caused by preparing or cooking certain foods, or added to it, include safrole, estragole and benzene. Processed foods such as sausages, bacon and canned meats contain high amounts of the preservative nitrite, another known carcinogen. Other carcinogens to look for in food products include:

    * acetaldehyde
    * acetamide
    * azo color and compounds
    * benzidine
    * bis (2-Chloromethyl) ether
    * cadmium
    * chlorinated parraffin waxes
    * 3,3-dichlorobenzidine
    * dichloromethane
    * hexachlorobenzene
    * polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons
    * polychlorinated dibenzodioxins
    * polychlorinated dibenzofurans
    * sillica
    * trichloroethylene

    Though it is impossible to avoid every known carcinogen, to decrease risk of cancers and other illnesses, a balanced diet with more unprocessed, whole foods can decrease risk of some cancers and other diseases such as type two diabetes and heart disease. Source.

    FACTS: Nutrients in Whole Foods that Protect Against Cancer:

    1. Vitamin A: Strengthens the immune system. Essential for mineral metabolism and endocrine function. Helps detoxify. True vitamin A is found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil; fish and shellfish; and liver, butter and egg yolks from pasture-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin A than the typical modern American diet.

    2. Vitamin C: An important antioxidant that prevents damage by free radicals. Found in many fruits and vegetables but also in certain organ meats valued by primitive peoples.

    3. Vitamin B6: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Contributes to the function of over 100 enzymes. Most available from animal foods.

    4. Vitamin B12: Deficiencies are associated with cancer. Found only in animal foods.

    5. Vitamin B17: Protects against cancer. Found in a variety of organically grown grains, legumes, nuts and berries.

    6. Vitamin D: Required for mineral absorption. Strongly protective against breast and colon cancer. Found only in animal foods such as cod liver oil, lard, shellfish and butterfat, organ meats and egg yolks from grass-fed animals. Traditional diets contained ten times more vitamin D than the typical modern American diet.

    7. Vitamin E: Works as an antioxidant at the cellular level. Found in unprocessed oils as well as in animal fats like butter and egg yolks.

    8. Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA): Strongly protective against breast cancer. Found in the butterfat and meat fat of grass-fed ruminant animals.

    9. Cholesterol: A potent antioxidant that protects against free radicals in cell membranes. Found only in animal foods.

    10. Minerals: The body needs generous amounts of a wide variety of minerals to protect itself against cancer. Minerals like zinc, magnesium and selenium are vital components of enzymes that help the body fight carcinogens. Minerals are more easily absorbed from animal foods.

    11. Lactic Acid and Friendly Bacteria: Contribute to the health of the digestive tract. Found in old fashioned lacto-fermented foods.

    12. Saturated Fats: Strengthen the immune system. Needed for proper use of the essential fatty acids. The lungs cannot function without saturated fats. Found mostly in animal foods.

    13. Long-Chain Fatty Acids: Arachidonic acid (AA), eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) help fight cancer on the cellular level. They are found mostly in animal foods such as butter, organ meats, cod liver oil and seafood.

    14. Co-enzyme Q10: Highly protective against cancer. Found only in animal foods. Source.

    In closing: I truly hope that you will begin living these simple lifestyle changes. If you are non-smoker, not obese, and already eating whole foods, then I challenge you to help to spread this message to as many people as you can. All of the suffering and the disease mentioned above is not necessary. It can be prevented.

9 Comments

  1. You have such a great attitude about all of this and you and Roman will be just fine. Cyber Hugs to the both of you.

      1. Both are doing fine and we are going to drive up next weekend to see them, excited as I can always hand her back when “necessary”. 🙂

  2. breastfeeding IS hard – it is hard work. you are doing awesome. those feeds will stretch out, it will get easier. i promise. <3

    i think the best thing i ever got told, was to think of the first 3 months as the fourth trimester. they NEED you. they WANT you. if they sleep with you, fine. if they feed a lot, fine. it's a huge transition for them to be outside the womb, some babies slide into that phase better than others. some need more time. you are his everything, and eventually things like going to the bathroom and taking a shower will be easier. do what feels right for you. don't listen to other people's "what not to do" – they have never had your baby and you instincitvely know what your baby needs.

    you are doing great, dena <3

    & soon, everything will just come to be a lot easier.

    1. thank you so much, amy. you always know just what to say to put my worried mind at ease. i am so grateful to have friends like you who have “been there, done that” and have such kindness and wisdom to share with a worried new mama like me! love you. xoxo

  3. Being a mommy is the absolute best, I can’t agree with you more! You’re doing a great job mama and yes, it definitely gets easier, I promise. Isn’t it funny through all the sleepless nights, exhaustion, lonliness and pain…I still wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. Ahhh…can’t wait to here more about your adventures!

    1. Hi Angelique! Thank you so much, darling. You are absolutely right — despite all of the trials — we wouldn’t trade it for the world. I keep reminding myself how precious these moments really are and how one day I will look back and wish to have it all over again. I’m trying not to take a single moment for granted. <3

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