“I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” ―Pablo Neruda Although she held out as long as she could, Spring has finally made her grand appearance — even up here on our little mountain. The front yard is littered with bright purple violets + golden dandelions. Our flowering bushes (which were budding in these photographs) have opened in their magenta glory. Down the road —…
death
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The Button Tin
Read moreMy grandmother collected buttons in a red and yellow tin. As a girl, I played with those buttons for hours and hours and hours. I sorted them by size, by shape, and by colour. I named them. I made them into families. I knew which…
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My Grandmother’s Records
Read moreMy mother and her siblings have been going through the painful process of cleaning out my grandmother’s house. I’ve been in & out a few times. I took some things that have a lot of sentimental value to me—drawings by a much younger version of…
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golden afternoon: goodbye
Read moreMy Mom mom was a most wonderful woman. She had a big heart and a beautiful smile. She took care of me when I was sick. She made me oodles of noodles & the best grilled cheese sandwiches that I’ll ever have. When I was…
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Losing a Pet
Read moreFor the past two weeks I’ve been intensely struggling with Mika’s death. Long story short, she was my baby. I raised her from a tiny kitten. I considered her a daughter and not a pet. She was an inside/outside cat. She was a hunter. Sometimes…
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Be Like Water
Read moreMy new mantra came to me during my Monday morning meditation: Be like water. It was during my first reading of the Tao Te Ching, that I realized the true supremacy of water. Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock,…
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Until We Meet Again, Grandma: Evolving Thoughts on Death
Read moreWhen I found out that my grandmother had stage 4 ovarian cancer, I was crushed. I wrote at the time about how I was not afraid to die but I was afraid to lose. Little did I know then that over the next couple of…
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Finding Beauty & Strength in Pain
Read moreOctober has always been one of my favorite months. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Autumn in New Jersey is gorgeous—the air smells crisp & sweet, of wonderful things like apple cider, pumpkin pie, & fallen leaves. The trees are afire with ghastly splashes of red,…
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The Saddest Day of My Life: How to Deal with the Loss of a Pet
Read moreOn Saturday, October 2, our cat—Mika—went outside before we left for a birthday party. We got home around 7:30 PM. Normally she would be there waiting for us, but this time she wasn’t. Sometimes she sleeps outside but she always comes home in the morning.…