Taking a Break from Facebook

I will admit it – I was a Facebook nerd long before it reached its current state of popularity. I remember one day, back when I was an undergrad (the whole 3 years ago), when Facebook “got popular.” All of a sudden every one of my sorority sisters was on there. Eventually, all of my professors were on there, too. Then came the day when… dun, dun, dun… my own mother had a Facebook account!

It wasn’t long after that when I started thinking about making a change or at least taking a break. I found myself stalking through photographs, obsessively checking friends’ status updates and when I got my blackberry – the whole situation exploded. I knew it was time.

Yesterday I made the status update, “Dena Botbyl will be taking a break from facebook for awhile — maybe a week, maybe a year. email me if you miss me too much: denabotbyl@gmail.com” and I can not tell you how liberating it was. Of course I got the, What happened!?!? and Is everything alright? responses but that was to be expected. Nobody saw this coming.

I want to focus on being more productive. Recently, I’ve discovered several amazing career-minded networking sites including BrazenCareerist, Young Association Professionals, and I’m even making my way into the insanity of Twitter. Facebook is a great tool and I will invariably return one day but right now I’m spreading my wings a bit.

What do you think? Have you ever needed to take a break from a social networking site? Have you ever felt “digital overwhelm?”

I’m excited to hear your thoughts!

-Dena

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  • · · · · · ·

    The Journey

    by Mary Oliver

    One day you finally knew
    what you had to do, and began,
    though the voices around you
    kept shouting
    their bad advice–
    though the whole house
    began to tremble
    and you felt the old tug
    at your ankles.
    “Mend my life!”
    each voice cried.
    But you didn’t stop.
    You knew what you had to do,
    though the wind pried
    with its stiff fingers
    at the very foundations,
    though their melancholy
    was terrible.
    It was already late
    enough, and a wild night,
    and the road full of fallen
    branches and stones.
    But little by little,
    as you left their voices behind,
    the stars began to burn
    through the sheets of clouds,
    and there was a new voice
    which you slowly
    recognized as your own,
    that kept you company
    as you strode deeper and deeper
    into the world,
    determined to do
    the only thing you could do–
    determined to save
    the only life you could save.

    sunset, flower

    Dear Friends,

    Tonight I simply want to remind you that every journey starts with a single step.

    Love,
    Dena

  • · · · · · ·

    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

4 Comments

  1. Hey Dena –
    Thanks for making this post a week ago – just in time to help me find the words I've been looking for in order to take my own break from Facebook. As "easy" as it makes it seem to keep in touch with friends, its soundbyte delivery system is not the quality of realtionship I want to have with the people I care about. I don't know how long my "break" will be, but I'm happy to step back for a spell and invest in connection-making (with others and myself) in a deeper way.

  2. Martha –

    I am so glad that you could relate! You are 100% right. I am beginning to see Facebook as a valuable tool for professional, networking, marketing, and promotion. I still consider it a good starting point to connect with long-lost relatives & friends; however it should not serve as an alternative for a phone call or a night out with friends. When it becomes a distraction from true life, it is time to take a break. I am going to check out your blog. Thanks for stopping by!

    Peace & love you you, my friend.

  3. Get Well Soon.

    Well that's what everyone thinks if you're taking a facebook hiatus! It's terrible when someone you 'knew' talks to you about where you were on Friday night, because they saw you tagged in a photo! Privacy is a thing of the past. Facebook stalking is a new alternative to TV.

  4. @Andrew – Ha! You know what you are ABSOLUTELY right. I was disgusted (with myself & others) when I decided to take a break from Facebook. It was an incredible time for me. During my hiatus, I started my blog and made a ton of amazing positive connections.

    Since then I've gotten back on Facebook but with a much different purpose. Now I use Facebook to connect with loved ones & inspiring connections. I do not check it obsessively for updates and I don't update my status every time I take a trip to the 'loo.

    It definitely has its strengths but, like anything, it's about balance.

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