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Overcoming Addiction Through Spiritual Growth

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On March 12, 2006, two things became perfectly clear: I did not want to die after all, and I was scared as hell to go on living.

The next day I entered rehab for the third time in as many years. I have not had a drink or mind altering drug since that day. My name is Jared and I’m a grateful recovered alcoholic. Grateful? You mean you’re grateful you’re an alcoholic? Yes, but I’ll get to that a little later. Right now I want to concentrate on the word “recovered.” And you know what: this is really going to be amazing because it just “hit” me the depth and meaning of that word, recovered. It means today, right now, I’m recovered. I’m not practicing alcoholism and I have no obsession and desire to drink. And as long as I follow a few simple rules, I can stay that way.

Each day I wake up with untreated alcoholism. The moment my head comes off the pillow, I’m a raging alcoholic. I’m likely to drink today if I do not follow a few simple rules. I prefer to break the rules down into a list of three: 1. Trust God, 2. Clean House, and 3. Help Others.

Trust God
Trusting God sounds complicated, spiritual, and/or religious. It’s not. Simply, it reminds me that I’m not in charge. Before I leave the house every morning I get on my knees and say a simple prayer, known as the third step prayer,

“God, I offer myself to Thee–to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”

Then I wash that down with a simple request, “God, show me what you would have me do today, and give me the strength and willingness to carry it out.” That’s it, that is how I start everyday, and have for the last (as I write this) 1,319 days. If I feel myself rushing through it, I stop and get back into gratitude and the moment. If I think I don’t have time, I ask myself a simple question, “How grateful am I for my sobriety?” That usually get’s me on me knees pretty quick! Get on my knees, or get drunk. Trusting God becomes easier as experiences prove that life is working out for the better when I get out of the way.

Clean House
Cleaning house is known as performing a moral inventory, keeping my side of the street clean. As I pray each night before bed, I run through the day in my head. (Hey that rhymed!) Again, on my knees, I review my day and seek out situations where I could have done better or possibly any wrongs I may have done to myself or others. Are there any amends that need to be made? As I grow spiritually, there are fewer instances that need further attention, or amends. Most are handled in the current moment and thus allowing me to move on, staying in the moment and practicing the spiritual power of now. I learn to avoid commitments I know I cannot keep, become honest about my motives and intentions, and sincere in my actions. The result being my daily inventory is void of regret and remorse for I know I have been true to myself and others in this day.

Help Others
Helping others means I try to be of service whenever possible. This mostly involves sponsoring other alcoholics. But remember in my morning prayer I asked “God, show me what you would have me do today, and give me the strength and willingness to carry it out.” Throughout each day I’m given the opportunity to help others in any capacity, and then I get a chance to see if I really meant it. As a sponsor, my duty is to share with other alcoholics how I have recovered. Pay it forward so to speak. I try to keep this simple, trying to keep my opinion and ego out of the way. Thankfully, I have an instruction manual and support program through Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 Steps. Step 12 states, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” My spiritual awakening has been slow and steady, the significance of events and experiences are often not realized until much later. If I want to reap the benefits of an amazing life tomorrow, I need to be doing the work today!

“It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.” These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.” –From the Book Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85

OK, now to the grateful recovered alcoholic part. The part of the 12th step that says, “practice these principles in all our affairs,” tells me that I can apply the spiritual principles I’ve learned in all areas of my life. Had I not been an alcoholic, I would have never learned how to live a spiritual life. My life prior to recovery was a mess and would eventually kill me. In my early twenties I had resigned to the fact that I would never be fully satisfied and happy with life, ever. Today, I am. It’s just that simple.

I’d like to make a note about all this spiritual talk. Spirituality has nothing to do with religion. The fact that I use the term God, is what I call a power greater than myself. My relationship with a Higher Power has come through action, as a psychic change developed in response to living my life on basic spiritual principles. These principles are rooted in the four absolutes of Honesty, Unselfishness, Love, and Purity. I learned how to live a spiritual life through working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is not the only way. However, I am convinced that we cannot fix a broken mind and soul with a broken mind. To discover how to live a spiritual life, we need help, which means finding someone who has what we want spiritually, and asking them to show us how they got there. And most importantly, it is the result of action. I’m a big believer in that nothing spiritual or of great transformational importance, ever manifested itself by simply reading and talking about it. To initiate significant, life transforming change, we have to put ourselves out there and interact with the world around us.

“Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there.” —Bonnie Raitt

I am only granted a daily reprieve from my alcoholism and character defects. I must work each and everyday on spiritual growth. For me, if I’m not growing spiritually, I’m headed for trouble and drinking. And for me, to drink is to die. Each night I go to sleep a recovered alcoholic, and wake the next day with untreated alcoholism. It does get easier over time however… or as my sponsor would say, “It’s easy, except when it’s not.”


Jared is a web developer from Lee’s Summit, MO. He enjoys spending time with family, reading, writing music, and traveling with his wife. He also enjoys helping others in recovery as much as he can.

I have been a fan of Jared’s writing and his incredible story since I discovered his blog several months ago. I am honored to feature Jared as Evolution You’s first guest blogger.

Please check out Jared’s inspiring blog How To Be Happy.

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    Review: Tribes by Seth Godin

    On a recent flight, I began reading Seth Godin’s Tribes. On the return flight, I finished it. It was my introduction to Seth Godin—no idea why I hadn’t found him sooner!—and what an introduction it was. The book blew me away. It is the best book on leadership and change management that I’ve ever read. While the content is sure to inspire change of the greatest sort within any organization—from business to church, non-profit to learning institution—it is also of incredible value to individuals.

    In this post I want to share some of my favourite pieces from Tribes as well as some of my own insights.

    Whether you want to create positive change in the world, in the workplace, or simply in your own, I recommend that you read the book for yourself. It is a relatively easy read, spliced up into short, digestible chapters. I got through it in a few hours. But it is absolutely packed with revolutionary ideas, suggestions, and real-life examples of people making a difference and leading tribes in today’s world.

    Many people are starting to realize that they work a lot and that working on stuff they believe in (and making things happen) is much more satisfying then just getting a paycheck and waiting to get fired (or die).

    I’ve begun to think of my generation as the Fight Club generation. Tyler Durden said it best, “We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.” I think Tyler and Seth’s sentiments are one and the same. Our parents (or maybe you) were raised to believe that you needed to grow up, go to school, get a job, and stay there. Work hard, save money, vacation once a year, and retire as soon as possible.

    Well, the Fight Club generation doesn’t want to hear that nonsense. We want gratification now. We don’t want to spend 40 hours a week miserable just so that we can collect a paycheck twice a month. We don’t want to spend half a lifetime at a job that we hate just so we can get fired or die one day! We believe that we can be happy now. We can pursue our passions, make a difference in the world, live out our dreams, and be successful all at once. And… we are right. We can do it. There are people doing it every single day. I love Tribes because it tells the stories of those people and more importantly, how they got there and how we can do it, too.

    Somewhere along the way, perhaps when twenty thousand Ford workers lost their jobs in one day, or when it became clear that soft drink companies were losing all their growth to upstarts, the factory advantage began to fade.

    The reason why the “school-job-suffer-retire” model worked for so long was because it was safe, it was comfortable. Human beings like to feel safe. It feels good to know that you will get a check once every couple weeks. It feels safe to know that you can walk into the office every morning and the lights will turn on and the computer will turn on. The peace of mind in trading your hours for dollars seems worth it when you have to put food on a table and a roof over someone’s head. But, guess what, that model isn’t really proving to be so safe after all.

    The recent tanking of the economy has really shaken things up. People are losing their jobs at rapid rates, unemployment is way up. Ethics have been violated, corruption runs rampant, and people don’t feel safe anymore. We want to take matters into our own hands. We want to create the lives of our dreams and be completely independent. We are doing it every day.

    In unstable times, growth comes from leaders who create change and engage their organizations, instead of from mangers who push their employees to do more for less.

    Now, more than ever, each of us has an opportunity obligation to become a leader, to create change, and to make a positive difference. The ever-evolving world of social media and the Web—Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Wikipedia, Google—give us instant access to an unthinkable quantity of information and resources. When we learn how to leverage those resources we can become unstoppable. When we teach others to leverage those resources our tribes can become unstoppable. It is a great time to be a leader, and it is also the right time.

    Leadership is scarce because few people are willing to go through the discomfort required to lead. This scarcity makes leadership valuable. It’s uncomfortable to propose an idea that might fail. If you’re not uncomfortable in your work as a leader, it’s almost certain you’re not reaching your potential as a leader.

    Change = pain. If there is anything that I have learned over the past three years, it is this. Human beings are creatures of habit. When asked why things are done a certain way, most people will always respond the same way: “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it.” It is safe, it is comfortable. Our profits may be plummeting, our staff may be miserable, our customers may be disgusted—but this is the way we’ve always done it! Don’t try to mess with our traditions! Right? Wrong!

    Success takes dedication, hard work, persistence, and change. Dedication, hard work, and persistence can be painful. Some people are cut out for it and some people aren’t. The people that are, are the leaders. Being a leader is not comfortable and it’s not supposed to be. Being a leader takes character.

    Believe it or not, anyone can do it. “No one is born charismatic. It’s a choice, not a gift” (Tribes).

    Change almost never fails because it’s too early. It almost always fails because it’s too late.

    The time for change is now, my friends. If not now, when? There has never been a time where the need for positive change was more urgent. If you do not realize that this moment is all you have, then you do not have anything. This is it. After this moment, nothing is promised—not tomorrow, not next week, not your 81st birthday. You have this moment and you alone get to decide what you do with it. Yes, you can surf Facebook for a few more hours and stalk out your ex-boyfriend’s life for awhile more. You can also sit on the couch with a six-pack and watch The Jersey Shore marathon on MTV. …But if you asked me, I’d tell you that you’ve got more important things to do. Whether you’ve been waiting to pitch a great idea to your boss, waiting to take a proactive approach to your health, or waiting to embark on that 6 month “vagablogging” journey; stop waiting!

    There is really nothing in your way. There are no problems and no obstacles. Any anxiety that you might have stems from your past or your future; but your past and your future are not real! The only thing that is real is this moment, right now. The past and the future are in your head. No matter what you think is standing in your way, you can find a way around it. If you can’t get on the next flight to Melbourne (to start your career as a kangaroo-catcher) then sit down and figure out how you are going to make it happen. Right now.

    I’m frequently asked about getting credit. People want to know how to be sure they get credit for an idea, especially when they have a boss who wants to steal it. Or they want to know how to be sure to give me credit for an idea in a book or a blog post of their own.

    Real leaders don’t care.

    If it’s about your mission, about spreading faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit.

    There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr., or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.

    Stop worrying about the obstacles and start taking action. Stop worrying about who is going to get credit and start making a difference.

    ————————————————————————

    What I loved most about Tribes is that it left me feeling like anything and everything is possible. The book is full of stories about ordinary people who did (and do) extraordinary things every single day. These people don’t let fear stop them. They become leaders and they create & inspire change. Every person is capable of this. You are capable of this! What do you want to do? Are you ready to become a leader? I say yes. Yes you are!

5 Comments

  1. Hi Jared,

    Thank you for writing this. Your story and attitude are beyond inspiring… I love that quote by Bonnie Raitt. She's one of my favorite artists, and I've never seen that quote before. 🙂

    I love what your sponser says… "Its easy, except when it's not." Brilliant philosophy on life as well…

    Karen

  2. I loved reading your story!  How inspiring.  I was looking for an inspirational story to share on my facebook page about recovering from addictions with spirituality and I couldn’t have been led to a better testimonial.  I just found out that someone I knew a long time ago is suffering with an alcohol addiction that is destroying him.  My brother is also an alcoholic and to say it is painful to witness is an understatement.   Thank you for sharing.

    Kind Regards
    Sandra

    1.  Hey Sandra,
      I’m glad you found this article inspiring. Blessings to you and your friend and brother. I hope they don’t give up before the miracle happens.

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