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You can do anything. But you can’t do everything.

You can do anything. But you can't do everything.

“How did I end up here, again?” I asked myself, lying on my back in the emergency room hospital bed a couple of weeks ago. It was the second time in as many years that I found myself in that very position.

Recently a friend told me that I try to do too much, that I need to listen to my body. And since then, I’ve been doing just that.

It’s not easy for me. I am programmed to go and go, to do and do, until I literally drop. Many things come natural to me, relaxation is not one of them. In fact, I can’t relax. When I try to, my mind races and I get up and do something. When I try to go to sleep at night, I can’t turn my brain off and sometimes I resort to taking medicine just to get to sleep.

I know, however, that it’s not healthy. I know that even though this is my season of building and growing, that I cannot grow anything beautiful if my tank is empty.

You can do anything. But you can't do everything.

In the last two weeks I have done less than I have in a very long time. And more importantly I am proud of that fact. In this world of do, do, do -and- go, go, go. I have decided to do less.

I will do less, but I will do everything with intention.

I love lists and I’ve implemented a new daily/weekly/monthly list system that has been working really well for me. I use a simple spiral bound notebook. Technology is wonderful but writing these lists out and physically crossing items off of them is great for my soul.

I start with a weekly to-do list. It is usually quite long and a little overwhelming but I don’t focus on it too much. It is a starting point and it helps to feed my more manageable daily to-do lists.

I have a separate page to keep my daily to-do “short lists.” I choose the 5 to 7 most important things from the weekly list for my daily lists. As I move through my day, I cross items off the list as they are completed. It gives me joy and momentum to look back at my lists and see so many things crossed off.

Sometimes when I am feeling overwhelmed I even add little things to the list like washing dishes or giving the kids a bath. This simple practice lets me experience the joy of crossing these mundane tasks off the list when they are finished.

At the end of the day and week, when I look back at all that I have accomplished, I feel deeply fulfilled and proud. It is so easy to beat myself up and feel that “I never do enough.” But when I am able to physically look at what I accomplish in a day or a week, it’s pretty incredible!

Another really important thing about my lists, is that while they keep me on task, I also give myself complete grace to complete or not complete any item on the list in a particular day. I don’t get everything done on my lists — and that is completely okay! It is so important to give myself that grace otherwise my lists will just become another means for me to come down on myself. Instead of that, I simply move unfinished items to the next day or even back over to my weekly list to be completed at a later time. The key is to focus on what I do accomplish.

This practice has also given me incredible insight into what is realistic. I have learned that I tend to really overshoot when it comes to setting goals. I had originally set a goal to make 3-5 blog posts a week in 2018. After starting this practice, I recognize that this is not realistic given my current responsibilities. It feels so good to be able to see that and adjust my plans instead of beating myself up for “not hitting the mark.”

I do what I can and when something doesn’t get done, I say, “It will get done when it gets done.” PERIOD. END OF STATEMENT.

It’s in my nature to feel not good enough. For my entire life I have been apt to negative self talk. Sometimes I have even called myself lazy. When I think about that now it is absolutely ridiculous, but the mind is so powerful and mine has a tendency to float right toward negativity if I don’t keep it in check.

Finally, in addition to my daily and weekly to-do list I have a 30-day goal list. This list has no more than 10 items and lists some of my big picture goals for the month. These are things that I want to do every single day and reading over this list each morning puts me in a positive, productive state of mind. It’s like a compass that points me in the right direction as I start each day.

monthly goals

While all of this sounds pretty practical, it hasn’t been easy coming to this point. The truth is that my anxiety & depression had gotten pretty out of control again recently. I have been climbing out of that darkness and for the first time in awhile, I feel like I am in a good place. I am a person who thrives on stability, creativity, and productivity.

Implementing this list practice has allowed me to get back on track and I am grateful for it. For me, this is so much more than organization. This is about wellness, health, and happiness.

Awhile ago, I read this quote: You can do anything, but you can’t do everything. It struck me deeply then, but only now am I ready to truly embrace its meaning and live it.

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    My Journey to Financial Freedom | Part 1: The Fall

    Three years ago, I was nearly $60,000 in debt. I had a Bachelor’s degree that didn’t appear to be worth its weight in salt and a job that couldn’t cover a fraction of my monthly bills. I was terrified.

    Today, I am closer to complete financial freedom than I ever dreamed possible. Last week, I paid off my last remaining credit card balance. This two-part post is a celebration of this incredible milestone in my journey.

    In part one, I will explain how I got to that terrible place. In part two, I will explain how I’m getting out of it (and how you can do it, too).

    ————————————————————————

    A financial prison is the worst sort of prison to be stuck in. A financial prison does not have steel bars or a prison warden. You will not get sent to financial prison for committing a crime. There is only one person that can sentence you to financial prison. That person is you.

    There are two primary types of financial prisoners:

    1. There are those in financial prison who got there because they truly did not know any better. This type eventually realizes the error of their ways and breaks free.

    2. There are those who knowingly commit themselves to financial prison. This type is well aware of the consequences of living beyond her means; but she does it anyway.

    Of course there are also those who fall somewhere in the middle, like me… (Cue dream sequence.) It all started when I was 18. The guidance counseling systems in my high school and college were either completely inadequate or I simply refused to pay attention. I can’t honestly remember which it was, though I think it was the former. Either way, I was screwed.

    Before me, no one in my family had ever been to college so I didn’t receive much advice. I was thrilled to be out of high school and ready for the next step. I took my SATs one time and applied to one school. My parents, being average folks, made just enough money to prevent me from receiving financial aid; but not enough money to be able to pay my full tuition. For me, this meant loans: “lovely” student loans from “lovely” Sallie Mae.

    My mother co-signed and it was a cinch from there. Each semester I filled out a relatively simple form and like magic, Sallie Mae sent me a check. In fact, Sallie Mae was so generous that they allowed me to take out as much “extra” money as I needed every semester. It was fantastic! Yes, I had money to pay for books, meals, and extra curricula. I also had money to go out and binge drink, buy clothes I didn’t need, designer purses, and more. Sallie Mae was wonderful to me. And the best part if it was that there was no need for discussion. No one guided me, no one advised me, and no one asked me any questions. I showed up at the financial aid office a couple of times each year and it was always smooth sailing.

    On top of that, another great thing happened when I was 18! The credit card companies started to send me applications. And that was just as easy. I got one and then another and then another. Whatever I couldn’t cover with those pretty little checks from Sallie Mae, I could simply charge on my credit cards. College was good to me. I joined a sorority, I partied hard, I shopped until I dropped. What more could a girl ask for?

    It wasn’t all fun & games though. I worked through college. I worked at a children’s camp each summer; I was a Spanish teacher for two years; and toward the end of my college career I was a bookseller at Borders bookstore. All of the money I made working was spending money for me. I had Sallie Mae and the credit cards to pay all of my “real” bills.

    When I finally graduated, I was making a cool $8.25 an hour at Borders. I loved it. I was happy… until one day, out of no where, a letter came in the mail. I had a six month grace period and then I would have to start paying back those loans. My paychecks barely covered my minimum credit card payments. How was I going to make loan payments on top of that?

    So I sat down and did something that I’d never done before. I wrote up a budget. It was horrifying when I realized that even if I’d had no other bills, my monthly wages from Borders wouldn’t even cover half of my monthly student loan payments. The jig was up.

    All told, I came out of college with about $45,000 in student loan debt and almost $15,000 in credit card debt. I hadn’t even lived on campus; I commuted from home; my parents paid for some of my tuition; and I only went to a mediocre school. How the hell was this possible?

    All of a sudden Sallie Mae and the credit card companies didn’t seem so lovely anymore. There was one thought that kept repeating over & over in my head: Why didn’t anyone warn me? I felt cheated, betrayed, angry, afraid, and helpless. I wondered what the people in the financial aid office had been doing all that time. I wondered why my high school guidance counselor didn’t press me harder about applying for scholarships or grants. I wondered a lot of things, but mostly I wondered how the hell I was going to get out of the mess.

    I started sending out resumes for jobs with starting salaries that would at least cover my monthly student loan payments. I sent out resume after resume but before long, I realized another harsh reality. That Bachelor’s Degree in English with a Creative Writing Focus wasn’t so great either. Nobody was calling me back. I couldn’t even get an interview.

    The clock was ticking. I was halfway through my grace period. Then one day, one of my best friends mentioned an opening in her office. I looked over the job description and realized that it had nothing to do with what I’d gone to school for. I didn’t even know what it actually was, but the starting salary was more than what I needed. The rest was history.

    I’ve been at my current company for almost three years now. And yesterday I paid off my last remaining credit card balance! Additionally over these few years, I’ve cut my student loan debt almost in half and by next Winter, I will have it down to a quarter of what I started with.

    Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post, where I will share how I am doing it and how you can do it, too.

3 Comments

  1. I love this post – thank you for sharing. I just found your blog by searching “women’s inspirational blog” and I have certainly felt inspired. I’m a list maker, too. I’m in the middle of a major life change right now (we are pregnant with our third, a little sooner than we thought we’d be) and have been beating up on myself SO MUCH about not getting enough done. But this is challenging me to reevaluate that – my enough just looks different right now, because I can’t do everything. <3

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and for leaving a comment. I am so pleased to meet you. I am so happy to hear that you are now challenged to stop beating yourself up so much. We are all in this together, Mama!! xoxo

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