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Destroy what destroys you.

evolutionyou.net | what destroys you

Everything passes. Everything changes. Just do what you think you should do. —Bob Dylan

Recently a gracious friend featured my words in his essay, How we see. In it, I said that my journey through crippling depression was like crossing a river. There are two sides to the river—the hopeless side and the side of hope & light. When I finally made it across and I was looking back, everything had changed. I was overcome with a deep sense of gratitude for all of it, even the struggle.

I use the metaphor of the river to describe my journey from darkness to light, but it also applies to my life every day. Each day I must choose again which side of the river I will stand on. Each day brings with it new beauty and new struggle. There will always be 1,000 obstacles. But—there will also always be—a choice.

When the obstacles begin to stack themselves against you, will you buckle or endure? Are you willing to fight for this?

Yesterday, I officially submitted my application to pursue my teaching certification. I simply do not have the words to express the enormity of what that means to my life’s path. Suffice it to say, it is huge. My life is changing once again.

The things in your life that have power are the things that you choose to give power to. From fear to hope, weakness to determination—over the past few weeks, my emotions have run the gamut. Here’s how I got through it. The next time that you find yourself struggling, I hope that these tips may serve as a life raft to you, too.

  1. Breathe. Breath is always the first and most important step. Before you do anything else, take control of your breathing. Take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest and deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.
  2. Trust your struggle. In the end, it doesn’t matter how much you plan or how carefully you’ve lined up your goals. Just when you finally think you’ve got it all figured out, life will pitch a shit storm at your head. Don’t fight it. Trust your struggle. Remember that even though it’s not always easy to see it in the present, when you look back on your life, the struggles are the most beautiful parts.
  3. Choose light. John Wayne said that tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday. I couldn’t agree more.Every day we wake up and we have another choice to make. Choose light. Remember that the things in your life that have power are the things that you choose to give power to. Surround yourself with people that bring you up and shut the others out. Give power to love, hope, and strength. Let the rest go.
  4. Take action. When the time is right, you will know what you have to do. If you open your heart to it, the answer will be crystal clear. If you don’t know now, you will know soon. Have patience, stop fighting, and just listen. When you are ready, move forward. Don’t let anything get in your way.

In love & light,
Dena

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  • Carousel — 03.05.10

    Oh, why hello my gorgeous readers! It is so wonderful to see you here on this beautiful Friday afternoon (or whatever day/time it is where you are). This week came in like a lion and is heading out like a lamb… typical March weather in the North Eastern US. Last week received over three feet of fluffy white stuff (snow!). Currently the temperature is on the rise and it’s beginning to melt. Is this a sign that Spring is on its way? I sure hope so!

    And now on to this week’s charming Carousel. I do hope you enjoy…

    1. Quick easy tips for travel health and Living in the now: Two awesome posts from Vagablogging this week. One contains common sense tips to keep you healthy while on the road and the other talks about the importance of fleeting moments in time. Lovely.

    2. This is So Inappropriate!: “Your choices always carry tremendous weight, even when you feel like you have no choice in the matter. We don’t need enormous reserves of skill or advantage to make big differences to what happens to us — and to the manner in which we ‘happen’ to the world.”

    3. The Sure Fire Way to Sabotage Any Relationship: In this post, Jared explains why trying to “get back to the way things were” is like signing your relationship’s death certificate. Do you agree?

    4. 5 Travel Lessons You Can Use at Home: This post is far & away, one of the best that I’ve read on the topic. Can you take travel lessons and apply them to your life? Can you use these lessons to live the life of your dreams 100% of the time? Yes, you can! This post will tell you how.

    5. Avatar’s Impact: How To Train Like A Na’vi: Have you seen Avatar yet? I saw it once in 2D and then again in 3D—yes, it was that good! I love Amber’s take on the movie in this excellent post. “While the special effects and imagination behind the film are awe inspiring enough, what excited me the most was the vital ecological message that’s reaching millions. The fact that people from around the globe are beginning to see the significance of our connection to all organisms is incredible.” Yes, yes, yes! Exactly. She’s hit the nail on the head.

    6. What Are Values?: Many people pay Tim Brownson good money to help them define values; but in this post, he’ll show you how to do it for free! I absolutely love (& agree with) the way that he introduces the post: “So what I’m really saying is this is some heavy personal development shit that needs your total concentration and commitment if you’re going to get the most out of it. And make no mistake, it’s the single most powerful thing you can do if you genuinely want to understand yourself.”

    7. how to: focus in batches: “Limited resources force you to focus on your creativity.”

    8. Coping with Major Life Changes: Excellent tips to help get you through some of life’s most challenging moments.

    9. The War Over Wolves: One topic that I haven’t written too much about yet is wildlife & environmental conservation. It is one of the things that I am most passionate about. This post from the National Geographic Blog broke my heart a bit. Despite my inclination to preserve as many creatures as humanly possible, there are always two sides to every story. I’ll be making some posts on this topic in the near future.

    10. Olympians’ daily food choices as important as their rigorous training: Want to learn to eat like an Olympian? Is the food that you put in your body really that important? After reading this, I say YES!

    —————————

    That is it for this week’s round up. I loved all of these great posts and I hope that you will, too. Perhaps just the burst of inspiration you were needing to get your weekend off to a great start?

    Have a lovely weekend. Spread love & light!

12 Comments

  1. Dena,

    Thanks again for contributing. Your “vision” is so restorative.

    Got me thinking: if I really have anything to share (anything of real value), it’s not charisma or vocab or storytelling.

    It’s what’s been salvaged from deep and inimitable suffering. It has informed my teaching & made it more than a job.

    Kids are suffering little adults and want/need people who’ve been there. The deeper the pit, the greater the comfort we’ve to share.

    Warm regards,
    M

    1. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share within your net. Those experiences are some of the best I think. Taking a few moments to step into another person’s terrain and let your heart slip out for a moment, to share what’s inside.
      There are a great many things that you have to share my humble friend. As ever, I am so grateful for your presence in my life.
      Ah, the deeper the pit, indeed.

    1. Thank you, my beautiful friend. It’s so exciting, fresh, new. These parts of any journey are so much fun aren’t they. Now to keep up the momentum when the going gets rough. Here I go! <3

  2. !! So happy for you, very proud that you made the decision. This is going to be huge for you.

    Enjoyed your writing on mdr.com, three completely different ways to see the world, it was a good mix.

    1. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Andrew! Your support, encouragement, and advice have meant so much to me through these recent… adventures.

  3. Thrilled for you, you are a teacher at heart and will be great at it. I taught school for 4 years and loved it and then life sorta took a turn and I would up doing something else. I always look back at teaching as a wonderful experience and I try to bring a part of it to whatever I do today.

    1. Thanks, Lou. I used to teach, too. I taught for a few years while I was an undergrad — K – 8 grade Spanish. I was teaching nine classes a week. It was a tremendous experience and I am thrilled about getting back in the classroom. The next stage in my adventures. 🙂 Thank you for always being here! I’ll bet you were a phenomenal teacher. (You still are!)

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