Forget Resolutions, Let’s Talk About Weakness

DenaJanuary 3, 2011

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.

Weakness—we all have one (or three or fifty).  Whether you’re Superman, me, or you—you know what it is.  In fact, you’ve probably got a few of them.  Mine (in no particular order) are: Lay’s potato chips; red wine; and raging insecurity.  Rather than making a list of your “Resolutions for 2011” I’m asking you to make a list of your weaknesses.  Then, I ask you to figure out a way to overcome them, temporarily—or even better—for a long while, maybe even permanently.

1. Potato chips, or crisps depending on where in the world you happen to be located, are a fairly easy weakness to deal with.  I’ve done it before, namely when I lost 70 pounds.  Although recently, I’ve put on a good twenty of those pounds that I once lost.  But I suppose that’s what giving in to weakness, dealing with loss, and struggling through various other turmoils will do to a person.  Good news is that I can deal with it.  This is a weakness that I can and have overcome before.  It won’t be hard to duplicate.  Once I start exercising and being mindful of what I put into my mouth it’s all downhill from there.  And I know it sounds oversimplified but at the end of the day, it really is that simple.  Take it from someone who knows.

2. Red wine is a bit more difficult.  I haven’t written about it here yet—likely because I’m terrified—but alcoholism runs in my family.  And just like chips, I’ve been known to take in a few too many.  There is a healthy balance and what’s never good (never, ever, ever good!) is using any substance, red wine (or otherwise) to cope with pain that you can’t address is any other fashion.

3. And last, but certainly not least, there’s that pesky issue of insecurity.  If I think back on the past twenty-six years, I’d say that’s what it all comes back to: insecurity. Insecure that I am not enough—not enough for my parents, not enough for my boyfriends, not enough for my peers, not enough for my boss, and not enough for… me.  And as hard as it is to spit that out, to come to terms with it, it’s the unabashed truth.  And I know, I know that I am not alone.

See, sometimes we have to write about (or talk about, or deal with, or…) the truth.  Not because it’s glamorous or going to get a ton of “Retweets” but because it’s the truth and it’s important.  If you know what I’m talking about—if I’m really not alone—then I’m asking you to share this with someone who needs it.  Right now.

Happy New Year, my beauties.



Comments (13)

  • Dena Botbyl

    January 4, 2011 at 3:21 am

    evolution you | Forget Resolutions, Let's Talk About Weakness

  • Dena Botbyl

    January 4, 2011 at 3:35 am

    I've been inspired by @andrawatkins to be brutally honest. Here goes nothing:

  • andra watkins

    January 4, 2011 at 10:42 am

    Bravo! I love this post. First, because it is full of honest admissions; and second, because I share all of these weaknesses with you.

    I cannot stop eating potato chips once I break the seal. Like you, alcoholism runs in my family. I didn’t drink a drop until I turned 33 because of my fear of it. It took me that long to realize that people could actually drink in moderation, but I am still wary of drinking too much or using it to deal with things. And, I’ve been frightfully insecure my whole life.

    I don’t have to tell you what you already know: facing our weaknesses is the best way to deal with them. You’re already well on your way. I hope 2011 is an amazing year for you, and I will enjoy following your steps.

    1. Dena

      January 4, 2011 at 10:54 am

      @ Andra – Yay! I am so glad that you liked the post. Can’t believe that we have even more in common than we already knew! Sharing weakness is a scary thing. We all try so hard to put on brave faces and show our best selves to the world — but sometimes it’s important to let people see our soft underbellies, too. It’s proof that we’re human, that no one is alone in their suffering.

      When we bring our weaknesses out into the light of the day — it’s pretty amazing what happens. They’re not so scary or ugly after all. And we’re never alone. Thank you for being here & Happiest of Happy New Years to you, darling. 2011 is going to be fantastic. <3

  • C Botbyl

    January 4, 2011 at 10:43 am

    love it….to list our weaknesses instead of resolutions…ty pretty girl

    1. Dena

      January 4, 2011 at 10:55 am

      @ Cindy – Thank you so much, glad you liked it. I figured everyone is making resolutions but maybe it’s also important to RESOLVE to work on our weaknesses. A bit of a different approach with the same end goals. Love you! XO Happy New Year, gorgeous.

  • andrawatkins

    January 4, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    RT @denabotbyl: I've been inspired by @andrawatkins to be brutally honest. Here goes nothing: (I LOVE IT!!)

  • Dena Botbyl

    January 4, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    RT @andrawatkins: RT @denabotbyl: I've been inspired by @andrawatkins to be brutally honest. Here goes nothing: (I L …

  • Dena Botbyl

    January 4, 2011 at 9:53 pm

    evolution you | Forget Resolutions, Let's Talk About Weakness

  • Brian Riggs

    January 4, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    Dena, terrific post. Weakness is a part of our lives (at least mine) and we deal with it every day. Recognizing it, embracing it and even leveraging it is what leads to energy, opportunity, and vision.

    Thanks for the grounded reminder.

    1. Dena

      January 5, 2011 at 4:22 pm

      @ Brian – Thank you so much for stopping by and for the thoughtful comment. Recognizing it, embracing it and even leveraging it is what leads to energy, opportunity, and vision. This is brilliant — exactly!

  • Healthy, Happy Habits in 2011 (Two-Thousand & Heaven)

    January 6, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    […] you like resolutions or not, the start of a new year is a good time to implement positive change.  You can throw out the old […]

  • alysha plentl.

    December 28, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Amazing post. Insecurity is definitely one I struggle with too. 2012 is my year to focus on being the best me I can be… Learning to love ourselves is one of the greatest things we can do, I think. Best wishes for your new year!

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