Dreams are Just as Important as Goals
I’ve written quite a bit about setting & accomplishing goals; overcoming fears; and making the best out of difficult situations. But what I haven’t written enough about is flat out—unleashing your dreams.
Goal setting is a very mathematical process. It goes something like this: Define your goal. Map out the steps necessary to achieve it. Research, develop, act. Work until you get there. This is great, it makes sense, it gets things done. However, goals are full of limitations. In order to accomplish Z, first I need to do X and Y. If I want to be in this place by this date, then I’ve got to accomplish X, Y, and Z by this date. And so on and so forth it goes. We plan and work and strive.
Yes, goal-setting & goal accomplishment are crucial elements to success; but sometimes we have to just let go of our goals and start unleashing our dreams! Throw caution to the wind and go for it. But how?, you ask. Well, you start by defining your dreams & broadcasting them to the world. Today I am going to define my wildest dreams & share them with you.
“Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death.” –Ayn Rand
Why Are We Afraid to Expose Our Dreams?
To be honest, I am a bit nervous about this. I feel like I am exposing a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden. When you keep your wildest dreams to yourself, you’re safe. If no one knows what you want, then no one can hold you accountable. For example, if your best friend has no idea that you dream of moving to Costa Rica to collect butterflies in the rain forest—then she isn’t going to check in with you once a month and ask where you’re at. If you’re father doesn’t know that you dream of quitting your job to build collectible trains and sell them on Ebay—then he isn’t going to be hounding you with questions about it at the holidays. And when you are not faced with those questions you are safe. Your dreams can stay on the back burner while your life passes you by. You are not held accountable. You don’t experience pressure. But, my friend, today is the day that you must realize something critical: It is pressure that makes diamonds!
Broadcast Your Desires to the Universe
Steve Pavlina recently wrote a post called Broadcast Your Desires. In the post, he explains why broadcasting our desires & dreams to the world is the best way to make them a reality. If you can’t broadcast your desires, it’s fair to say that you don’t own them yet. In order to make your desires become real, you’ve got to speak up about them. If you’re going to receive them, then let it be known. If you find it necessary to hide what you desire, that suggests you aren’t ready to receive.
Well, I am ready to receive! I hope that by taking this step in my own life, I will inspire you to take it in your own. Here I go…!
My Dreams
1. Grow evolution you
I want to take this blog to great heights, attract thousands of readers, inspire people around the world. I want to monetize it so that I can devote myself to improving people’s lives full-time. And as a result, I want to become location independent so that I can travel the world, spreading love & light where ever I go.
2. Write a book
I haven’t quite worked out the details of this one yet—it’s a bit ever-evolving. I’ll pin it down soon enough, for now I am just dreaming wildly!
3. Travel to the Great Pyramids in Egypt
I feel intimately connected to the people of ancient Egypt. Perhaps it is the beautiful & mysterious way that Ancient Egypt is depicted in films & literature, whatever the cause, the very idea of it thrills me. I have long dreamed of visiting & exploring the ancient pyramids for myself.
4. Learn to speak French
5. Spend time living & working in Europe
Italy, France, and Belgium all seem such lovely places to me. I’d like to spend at least a few months in each place.
6. Safari in Africa
This is the only dream on the list that I already accomplished. In the Summer of 2006 I studied abroad in Kenya, studying, on safari, and touring. It was a truly incredible experience and I’ll be making a post about it soon.
7. Live in the wilderness
I am insanely attracted to nature. In fact, I am quite convinced that I am a tigress/she-wolf/mermaid trapped in the body of a human woman. I feel most at home in nature—in the mountains, near the sea, anywhere wild. I’ve long dreamed of escaping the civilization circa Into the Wild. It would certainly not be a permanent thing; but I’d love to experience it at least for a few weeks to see how long I’d last.
8. Have or adopt a baby
Last February my sister gave birth to me beautiful Godson, Brian. Ever since then, I’ve heard the ticking of my own biological clock a tad louder than before. I am not in any rush, as you can see I’ve got a lot I want to do before I am quite ready to “settle down” but it is definitely an enormous dream of mine, some day.
9. Spend time on a Native American reservation
I’d like to spend some time living or at least working/volunteering on a reservation. I am passionate about Native American culture and it would be a great honor to serve the Native American people in some capacity and to learn first-hand their cultures, traditions, and needs.
10. Serve on the Board of Directors for a prominent wildlife conservation foundation
11. Visit a Buddhist monastery in Tibet
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These are not all of my dreams, not nearly, but the list could go on and on. For now, these are the ones that I am working toward—in the near & distant—future. It was not nearly as difficult to share them as I thought it would be! This list will be ever-evolving and I will update it as my dreams are accomplished and as they change.
Alright, I did my part. Now it’s your turn! I would love to hear about your big dreams in the comments or if you make your own big dream post please let me know about it.
You are lovely. I struggled with weight gain when my kids hit 1 year. I started gaining, gaining, gaining because I stopped nursing and kept eating like I was nursing. It wasn’t until my youngest was 2.5 that I changed my eating and exercise habits consistently enough to start losing. I felt exactly the way that you are describing. I was mad that I was heavier 18 months after my kids were born than I was 9 months after they were born. It wasn’t supposed to be that way!! I’ve finally lost the weight and feel so much better. I was never able to feel content with myself being bigger than I wanted to be, so I applaud you!!! You will get there…if you want to…and if you don’t want to or don’t get there as soon as you want, that’s okay too.
Thanks, Candice. I definitely want to lose it.. haha. But not because I hate it or myself, simply because I do not feel my best. I forgot to mention in the post but I am still nursing 3-4 times a day, so… I have to cut myself some slack. It will all unfold exactly as it is meant to. <3
Thanks so much for sharing your journey, too.
Thank you for writing this, and your honesty here! We are so quick to shred ourselves and forget all of our accomplishments as women and mothers in the face of just one or two things we don’t feel we’re up to par on. It’s damaging, unfair, and so easy to do. Thank you for this reminder!
You’re gorgeous inside and out, as well as incredibly talented! XOXO
Thank you, Erin. Your kindness and friendship mean so much to me, always. xo
The first thing I thought when I saw that photo was “Wow! She looks absolutely GORGEOUS in this photo!” Seriously, I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. Funny how other people see the beauty we sometimes cannot see in ourselves. And yes, so fucking what if you cannot fit into those jeans! At 30 and after having a baby most of us women just have to accept that our bodies are different now and that that is totally ok. We are still beautiful and strong! I remember after I had Logan, I went to get some new clothes, going into a changing room and crying my eyes out. I think dealing with our new bodies after having a baby is the hardest part. My baby is 13 and I still have a mommy tummy if it makes you feel any better! You are beautiful! Love you girl!
Thank you so much, Nicole. You are an incredibly wonderful friend. I’m so grateful for you!
you are absolutely wonderful, dena! i love this and you are so strong to share. 🙂 🙂
thank you so much. xo
Wow, this post. It’s like I wrote it myself. I still have all those feelings about myself. I’m so embarrassed by my size and how I look and I feel like everyone is judging me and saying “ew” everywhere I go. But the thing is, I’ve never judged one other mother before. When I see they’ve gained weight I just assume it’s from child birth and think it’s totally normal and OKAY and great and they should be proud of their stretch marks and saggy boobs because it all helped create their child… but I don’t hold myself to those same standards. All I have is self hate. I’m glad you’ve gotten passed that because you are beautiful and a great mother and that is what matters. Maybe more women writing posts like this will encourage me to heal myself too.
Thanks so much for reminding me that I am not alone, Tina. And you’re absolutely right, so much of our insecurity is in our own heads and not coming from other people. I hope that you begin to love yourself the way that you deserve to be loved! <3
Beautiful and well written post. When I turned 30, I actually felt liberated and more confident with myself than ever. Kudos to you for recognizing the beauty you possess not only on the outside, but within as well. I have always admired your beauty and drive you have for life. Keep up the excellent work !!!
Thanks so much, Laura. It’s amazing. Now that I am past the insecurity I feel incredibly liberated and more confident than ever, too. Thirty is beautiful!!
Dena, I feel like most women feel this way after having children, I know I sure did. It took me almost a year to lose it, lol just to gain it again due to baby #2. And yet again I see myself going thru the same pattern of self hatred and mean down right mean to myself. I hear myself calling myself fat, gross, etc. My maternity clothes are too big, yet my pre-pregnancy clothes are small fitting me way to tight. Trying on those clothes makes me feel ten times worse afterwards. I try to remind myself of the blessing I have been given. What amazing things my body has done and be kinder to myself. I will eventually lose the weight (hopefully fingers crossed). But I need to love myself better, ron and my children love me for how I am, so why can’t i. Realizing your not your youthful self also adds insult to injury but I remind myself that I’d rather be the person I have been shaped into today than the version of me from 10 yeas ago. Your brutal honesty is comforting, reminding me I am not alone on this journey even tho I feel that way. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Liz. You are such an inspiration. The way you pushed through those mommy and me classes when you were preggo totally amazed me. I’m so lucky to have women like you around to support and encourage me! <3
This is such a brave share, Dena, and I think you’ll find the more you voice those painful truths, the more people there are who feel exactly. like. you do. Sending love to you, you beautiful warrior, you! xo
Thank you, Crista. Your kindness means so much to me. xo
You are beautiful, Dena! And a fantastic mama to your precious little boy!! I am so happy you found peace, all women struggle with doubt. I too look at my developing wrinkles and cringe, how did we get to thirty already?! 😉 xo
Seriously, Julie, it seems like just yesterday when we were barely into our twenties. It foes so fast.
Thank you! xo
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I relate to this post. I felt this way before Jack’s first birthday, and again now just before his second birthday. I need to start loving me more… I mean really, how much do those last 10 pounds matter? I gained the love of my life out of it! 🙂
Thanks, Carmen. You are so completely right!! <3