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Book Review & Giveaway: Willpower

evolutionyou.net | willpowerI was an English writing major in college, but I took as many anthropology classes as I could manage for the fun of it. Evolution and human behavior really get me going. So when my friends at TLC asked me to review Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength, I was thrilled!

This is one of those books that, if you apply what it says thoughtfully, will transform the way that you live your life and the way that you view the world around you.

Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength is part science, part psychology, and part common sense. Put these things together and what you have is a recipe for positive change.

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Evolution & Etiquette
Have you ever wondered why we (humans) do what we do? Many of our actions can be traced back thousands of years into our evolutionary history. This books begs the question—Why do we have self-control and willpower? As anthropologists and neuroscientists tried to figure it out, many theories surfaced. Did we evolve this way because we needed to find food? Did we evolve this way so that we could adapt to our physical environment? No, there wasn’t much evidence to support either of those theories. Researchers eventually concluded that:

Humans have the largest frontal lobes because we have the largest social networks, and that’s apparently why we have the most need for self-control. We tend to think of willpower as a force for personal betterment—adhering to a diet, getting work done on time, going out to jog, quitting smoking—but that’s probably not the primary reason it evolved so fully in our ancestors.

Primates are social beings who have to control themselves in order to get along with the rest of the group. They depend on one another for food. When the food is shared, often it’s the biggest and strongest male who gets first choice in what to eat, with the others waiting their turn according to status. For animals to survive in such a group without getting beaten up, they must restrain their urge to eat immediately.

Yes, yes, yes! This makes so much sense, doesn’t it? As I read through this book, light bulbs kept going off in my mind. This is why we do what we do. This is how we got here.

Willpower & Its Limits
In addition to the anthropology, there is a lot of fascinating psychology and science in this book. Research conclusively shows that we all have willpower, but that each person only has a limited store of it for each day. There is plenty of scientific research to support this finding in the book. But I’ll try to explain it in simpler terms.

Every day you start off with a “full tank” of willpower. Then, let’s say you head into work and hit some nasty traffic. On the road, you get cut off by three different demon drivers. Now your willpower tank is down to about ¾ of a tank.

You walk into the office to find a shitstorm. Your boss is waiting for you with an angry look. Turns out that the big project you’ve been working on for three months is completely wrong. You’ve translated it into Greek but it was meant to be translated into Arabic. Now, you’re down to about ½ a tank.

At the end of the day, you get home from work and all you want to do is sit down and relax before heading out to the gym. You walk through the front door and suddenly, you’re in water up to your ankles. A pipe has burst in the kitchen.

That’s the end of your willpower tank, my friend. Even if you can get the plumber there and get the mess cleaned up, there’s not much chance that you’re going to make it to the gym this evening. You’re plumb tapped out of willpower for today.

Of course this is an extreme example, but you get the picture. Various studies have shown a link between self-control and success across a variety of personal realms. Over years of research, Baumeister (one of the book’s authors) found that willpower works like a muscle that can be strengthened with practice, and fatigued with overuse. His lab work also ties willpower to glucose, the basic biological fuel for brain and body, and shows that self-control can be strengthened simply by replenishing the body’s store of fuel. That’s why eating and sleeping—or lack thereof—have such dramatic effects on self-control. It’s also why prison researchers have been able to accurately predict, based solely on how prisoners’ bodies process glucose, which prisoners will commit more violent crimes after their release.

In Closing & The Giveaway
It would be impossible for me to fully summarize Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength in a single post, so here is the table of contents to give you a better idea of what it covers:

evolutionyou.net | table of contents

Jamie Holmes of the Daily Beast said it best:

Willpower is sure to inspire further groundbreaking research into the mechanics of willpower. One implication is already apparent. Since repeated behaviors eventually turn into habits, improving willpower long term requires a unique strategy-a habit of changing habits, of continually expanding our zones of comfort. One such practice, it seems, is the ‘routine’ of learning. That’s a habit that this brilliant book will certainly nourish.

I highly recommend this book if you’re in the market for such a thing. I’ll be giving away my copy to one lucky reader. If you’d like a chance to win, just leave a comment below. I’ll pick one commenter at random next week. Good luck, darling!

In love & light,
Dena

Disclosure: I was not paid to endorse this product. I was, however, sent a free copy of the book from TLC Book Tours in exchange for sharing my thoughts about it and that’s why I am passing on the love to one lucky reader. ♥

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    How to Overcome Fear & Stop Resisting

    “To offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease, and lightness.” —Eckhart Tolle

    Stop resisting the will of the Universe. I’ve said this to myself thousands of times. It is perhaps one of the most powerful tools that has led me to peace of mind.

    In the past four years, I overcame depression, anxiety, and I lost sixty pounds. When you overcome a lifetime of anxiety & depression, a lot of things change. For one thing, you begin to enjoy life. Simple things that you hadn’t noticed before fill your heart with joy—Spring, a cold glass of water on a hot day, a good workout, a kind word, a smile. When you are overcome by the effects of anxiety & depression, you do not have time to notice these simple pleasures. (They are often overshadowed by the negative, irrational thoughts swarming inside of your head.)

    Happiness begets happiness, as I like to say. However, even in my increased state of happiness, I knew that something still wasn’t right. It took me awhile to realize what it was. Only after months of careful self-observation did I realize what was happening.

    A hard day at work = I was disgusted, angry, plagued by head aches.
    A frustrating experience at a car dealership = I was furious.
    An upcoming flight and travel arrangements = I was anxious, worried, sick to my stomach.

    I was continually allowing my mind to make me angry, sick, sad, frustrated, etc. Yet, after each of these experiences I learned some valuable lesson or something really important & meaningful happened as a result.

    Hard days at work always lead me to clarity about how myself and my team could be more efficient.
    The frustrating experience at the car dealership actually prevented me from making a terrible mistake and purchasing the wrong car.
    Recent travel and trips have brought me incredible successes in my personal & professional life.

    Upon observing all of this, it hit me. Even when things seemed terrible, even when I was really upset, eventually the pain of the situation would subside. Moreover, I would come out on the other side wiser, stronger, and grateful. Every thing that happened (happens) to me is a direct result of the will of the Universe (you can call that God, fate, destiny, or any other name you’d like to give it, no matter). Yes, every thing that happens is a direct result of the will of the Universe and an opportunity to learn and grow. In order to live true happiness, I had to stop resisting the will of the Universe. Once I did this, my life changed in incredible (and previously unimaginable) ways. When I stop resisting and simply “go with the flow” I find that I am constantly filled with a deep calmness in my soul. I do not worry or suffer. I simply exist and let all scenarios play themselves out. I understand that even pain is necessary and that ultimately it will carry me to a place of light & peace.

    Fear is Unnecessary

    At the root of every single feeling of discomfort, lies one emotion: fear. Fear is the emotion responsible for all forms of suffering. Sadness, anxiety, worry, rage, hatred, envy, and all other forms of suffering are rooted in fear. However, once you stop resisting the will of the Universe, you will understand that fear and suffering are actually not necessary at all.

    The vast majority of fear and suffering is a result of living in an unreal world and/or allowing negative, irrational thoughts to control our minds. The unreal world is the world of sky rise buildings, electricity, paper money, McDonald’s, television, marketing, vanity surgery, reality TV, etc. The real world is the world of trees, dirt, sun, stars, wind, rain, whole foods, self-love, generosity, family, love, etc. Can you see the difference? Once you remove yourself from the suffocating chains of the unreal world, and begin living in the real world, you will find that most of the fears that you experience are completely unnecessary. The vast majority of anxieties that we suffer from are made-up.

    – fear of judgment
    – fear of failure
    – fear of humiliation
    – fear of public speaking
    – fear of making a mistake
    – fear of travel
    – fear of forgetting something
    – fear of being alone and so on

    Once you realize that these fears are made-up in the unreal world, they can hold no power over you. All of the above are irrational anxieties. None of those things would actually put your life in danger or expose you to any harm. The only place that they can affect you is in your head. But you must remember that you have control over what goes on in your head! You can use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to end the suffering.

    Eventually, you will realize that true fear might have a place in your life, but that is only when you are truly in danger. Perhaps while being chased by a bear or masked murderer, while falling from a cliff, etc. Yes, in those instances, your fear is justified and it can help you by creating adrenaline, increased strength, quicker reflexes and cognitive ability. But other than those “real” true fear situations, there is really no need for fear and certainly no need for emotional suffering.

    Live Without Resistance or Fear

    Once you learn to stop resisting the will of the Universe and to live without fear, you will experience an entirely new & improved sort of living. You will find that all of the things that you once desired, but were afraid to seek, are actually within your reach. For example, I was emotionally crippled by irrational anxiety for the first half of my life. This made it impossible for me to speak in front of people. I could not ask a question in a class of twenty, let alone get up in front of a group of people to speak. My anxiety over public speaking was so great, that it crippled me. I once experienced a debilitating panic attack at a dinner party of five family friends! But… that is ancient history.

    Now, my former self is hardly recognizable. I have spoken in front of groups of sixty people or more with grace and confidence. I know that my fear is irrational & unnecessary, so I overcome it. Sure, my heart rate may increase, I might sweat a bit—but I do not let it stop me! I remind myself that that the fear is not real and I move forward to success.

    You are entirely capable of achieving the same same sort of success in your own life—personal & professional. Whatever your fear is, you can overcome it.

    “You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you.” —Wayne Dyer

    To allow fear to rule your life, is not to live at all. So stop resisting the will of the Universe and stop allowing fear to rule your life. Begin living, truly living, right now. There is nothing in your way. What is your greatest fear? Can you believe that it is unnecessary? What would you do if you had no fear in your heart at all? How different could your life be?

    The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them!

    I am now offering personalized coaching sessions to individuals suffering from anxiety &/or depression. If you are interested in scheduling a session or would like to learn more, please contact me at denabotbyl[@]gmail[.]com for details and rates. Include CBT Session in the subject line.

7 Comments

  4. “Willpower works like a muscle that can be strengthened with practice, and fatigued with overuse”. How interesting. I’d love a copy, if ever I get lucky in the giveaway.

    Yep, about the pics on my blog. I checked out your linked pics and yes, you really were in the same Luxembourg Gardens. How neat!

    Reply

  7. This sounds like a great book! I’m definitely in need of some willpower right now, and I love the idea of learning to strengthen willpower. Thanks for the giveaway!

    Reply

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